The True Love of your Spiritual Teacher: Longing to be seen and loved

The True Love of your Spiritual Teacher: Longing to be seen and loved

Polite lies, fake love, the worship of manufactured positivism are all current norms and the fallout is a profound soulless invisibility. No one is really seen. What is seen is the social media façade that rents space in the realm of what is culturally acceptable. Any dysfunctions in life, at home either with parents, or spouse or children are carefully hidden behind a public construct.  In public numerous emotions and reactions are labeled “negative” and therefore you carefully choose what to show or express in public.  Entertainment value is primary and the majority of people ensure their daily life experiences and feelings are presented in a manner that will make a good story.  The desire to be accepted and loved is overshadowed by an overwhelming terror of being utterly revealed.  Public image is partnered with the angst of a profound loneliness. There is the subterranean shame, the fear, that if people were to discover who you really are, you would be completely rejected.  Being loved, admired, having tons of followers increases the loneliness as you know that others cannot possible love you because they truly do not know you, the real authentic you. Your secrets and lies have become proof of existence, socially acceptable existence.

When people first meet a profound Spiritual Teacher, the reactions are complex. There is fear. There is a deep desire to be seen but it is coupled with a trembling anxiety that this Teacher is someone who will and does really See You, all of you. The fear is that you will be rejected, for who you are, for existing. In the beginning students will often work hard to put “their best foot forward” hoping to “convince” the Teacher through their actions and words that they are worthy.  People who hide their authentic self (from themselves as well as others) can sometimes become aggressive and challenge a Teacher while at the same time longing to be accepted as a student. This is a learned behavior. You have learned that being aggressive or somewhat hostile is an unhealthy yet effective way to make people keep their distance, so you are not “discovered.” Keeping others off balance means you can stay safe behind your façade, and you can more easily manipulate how others perceive you. This behavior can be conscious or unconscious.  Some students will present as a victim, another learned behavior that keeps people at a distance. It is a tactic that people who are not comfortable with their authentic selves use to protect themselves even while longing to get close.  As a victim, others are forced to tread lightly in order to protect the so-called fragility of the emotional victim in front of them.  Presenting as a victim means you will never be criticized or challenged. It also means no one can get close to you in any manner. Coupled with victim-hood is arrogance. Over time victim has learned to feel justified and “right” because anything that “goes wrong” can never be discussed or confronted as that is seen as hurting the victim even more.

A Spiritual Teacher is here to unveil your Soul and this means battling through all the facades, defenses, and all of your learned unhealthy behaviors. No easy task.  Spiritual development is not related to personality traits, quirks, your career, looks, prosperity or even your so-called “spiritual gifts” that so many are invested in having. Spiritual development is freeing people up from their attachments and addiction from all the earth plane survival choices that are currently running and ruining their lives. A Spiritual Teacher reveals Soul energy to people, and teaches them to embrace their Higher Self.  Journeying through this life connected to your Higher Self, to Spirit, and to Source creates a beautiful guided balance that brings magic into the earth plane journey.

Spiritual Teachers will teach you to face yourself, the yin and yang of your existence and their consistent love as you unveil will teach you to love your Self, all of you, the good, the bad, the ugly. These Teachers will make you angry, scare you, awaken emotions, and model warrior behavior (which can also make you angry if you are used to presenting as a victim.) The facades you have created will be ignored. Spiritual Teachers will not court your attendance at their classes or workshops and they will not kowtow to your fits of anger or any other kind of manipulations that you currently use to get through life.  They also will not punish you or reject you for your bad behaviors (fits of rage, manipulations, victim tears, angry criticisms or provocative remarks).  A true Teacher weathers your outbursts, sometimes confronts them or shuts them down, and can even send you away for a time until you are willing to find a way, or the courage, to change. They will never abandon you.  You will learn that you, the real you, the authentic you, is not only acceptable, but loveable and the inexplicable loneliness you have lived with all your life will lift. You will become your own best friend as your Teacher introduces you to your Soul and mentors you through the development of a relationship of yourself with your Higher Self, and Spirit.  Although welcomed, these Teachers do not want your love and devotion. They want to see the emergence of self-love and your devotion to Source and Spirit.  A True Teacher’s job is to see you on your way, walking your own Path.  Some stay with a Teacher for years and years because the learning never ends, not because the Teacher is the one thing that makes you feel better about yourself.  Choose a Teacher that fits you. Find someone who shows you who you really are, and who then teaches you to accept and love yourself while continuing your evolution. Be willing to wake up, feel your feelings and acknowledge your shortcomings as well as your shining qualities.  Seeing both is the key to authenticity and makes you a compassionate and understanding human being.  Learning to be authentic, to really be “seen” and to feel safe in your own skin allows you to “see” others and you become a safe place for others to emerge.  That is a “gift” that everyone has, if only they choose to develop and use it.

It takes courage to emerge. If you are not being authentic and you are rejected, you can always tell yourself that people don’t really know you. The rejection then doesn’t hurt as much. However, if you are showing up authentically and are rejected, there is the risk of feeling vulnerable.  Self-love will protect you, but until you experience that happening, there is fear. If you are used to hiding, “coming out” can, at first, feel like a turtle that has lost its shell, exposed, at risk, too soft, too sensitive. The rewards of being “you,” of being “seen,” are enormous. You no longer go chasing after love, you are complete within yourself. Your radar for picking people to include in your life, or deciding what events to participate in, or even choosing beneficial behaviors becomes extremely accurate as you are no longer diverting your attention into strategies for hiding. The ever changing externals of life will not affect your moods as much because you now have a strong center, a relationship with yourself, your Higher Self, Source, and Spirit.

Dare to work with a Teacher who is brave enough to face your anger, or even rage.  Pick Teacher who is not afraid to be hated (when you flip out and are looking for someone to blame) and who is not addicted to harvesting love from students as their own dysfunctional way of feeling good about themselves.  Choose a Teacher that doesn’t buy into your façade, who talks to you about what you don’t know rather than boosting your ego by confirming your spiritual fantasies, a Teacher that surprises you with the direction of the conversations rather than you looking for someone who agrees with you. Dare to emerge, to be seen, to be revealed, to be loved.  

Journey On