Posts

Showing posts from June, 2020

Radical Acceptance: Start where you are

Image
Radical Acceptance" Start where you are Healing is a process. First one must accept there is a need for healing, that you have uncomfortable or challenging feelings and that you are not okay with staying where you are at right now. You will need to stop denying your feelings, putting on a brave face, spouting toxic positivity, or acting stoic or indifferent. This is the actually the first step of every 12-Step program, “admitted we have a problem” with alcohol, emotions, drugs, food, sex, power, anger etc.   This typically does not happen until you “bottom out” meaning you blow your life up to the point you can no longer deny you have a problem. For some people this might mean going to jail or losing a relationship and/or family, or losing a job. For others it might mean getting caught at some unethical behaviors and feeling (healthy) shame. Everyone’s “bottom” is different; it is personal. And some people need to bottom out numerous times until they can no longer

Character Matters

Image
Character Matters You do not have to be a pathological narcissist to act like one. Many people have narcissistic tendencies and can “act out” in ways that match true narcissistic pathologies.   You are not either a narcissist or not, you can have tendencies at times that need your attention.   Narcissistic tendencies can arise from the walking wounded who continue to avoid their inner work, their inner healing, unconsciously continue attention-seeking behaviors and controlling behaviors as a way to regulate, contain, and sublimate their unhealed emotions. These are often covert, co-dependent type people who cannot speak up for their own needs and boundaries and instead consistently manipulate everyone around them because when they were helpless children that is what they had to do to survive. However, now they are adults, capable of having the courage to heal. And it will take courage. And it will take actions and behavior changes and all of that means taking risks