Winning by Losing
Winning by Losing If you grew up receiving what psychology calls “negative attention” you have been taught that receiving love feels and sounds like being told (or shown) that you are always wrong, slow, stupid, a pain in the ass, a loser, not worth the time and energy, not loveable and never, ever, good enough. This means that as a child, you would only receive attention (and to a child, attention and love feel the same) when you were told that you were doing things wrong or that you were a loser (again). This early patterning gets imprinted in the still developing neural pathways of a child. If you grew up receiving only “negative” attention, as an adult your way of “winning” in life, you way of feeling accepted and even loved, is to make yourself into a loser. Before you wake up and start your journey of healing, you will insert yourself into the lives of people you think matter to you, people that seem important to you and whose opinions matter to you. You will then c