The New Therapists -- Instant Healers: Watch Out
I grew up in a family of therapists, and "lost" a number of friends to the career of therapy. What ??? My mother was a brilliant therapist. She was also an "untreated" never in recovery Adult Child of an Alcoholic, and incest survivor. Like so many wounded people, she became a therapist rather than go to therapy herself. This is a kind of self-treatment by proxy-- if it is done consciously. If it is done unconsciously, as with my mother, it is another way to avoid emotions and to dodge the sometimes painful (yet ultimately joyful) journey of self-recovery, and finally self-realization. I watched wounded former friends of mine make the same decision. To "heal" rather than be healed.
The newest version of this are the instant "healers" of the New Age/Motivational/Self Help (self help meaning you do it all, with no help from Spirit). So many of these folks are not in recovery, wounded, desperately seeking relief, and desperately avoiding shadow work. How do I know? I know many folks in the new age industry (and it is an industry now), and I have many as clients who see me secretly so as not to ruin their public persona as a healer or teacher. The walking wounded will seek training in some modality that makes them feel good. Feel good trainings are often offered by people who want to spread "feeling good" as a way to self medicate instead of doing their own recovery work, or Spiritual shadow work. People cannot "fail" the feel good training or certifications. The facilitators don't want you to feel bad, and they want return customers. The wounded leading (and training!!) the wounded.
This is not to say all feel good practices are bad. They are not. But they are the unhealthy norm now in the new age billion dollar industry. In tribal days, Shamans, Medicine People, Healers, were sought out by SPIRIT. Spirit chose you. Clear signs came. People came. The Chosen just kept working developing their Higher Self and following the agenda given by Spirit. Spirit gave the training. Spirit supplied the Teacher and the Teachings. The ego driven human self did not choose a profession of Spirit by enrolling in a workshop.
Heal yourself, heal the world. We all believe we are connected. Change and heal yourself, and let Spirit place you where you need to be to radiate your healed and healing energy. (Great Reading about this-- the novel The Kin of Ata by Dorothy Bryant). Do not be swayed by the New Age billion dollar industry and try to become some kind of professional healer or spiritual teacher. Let Spirit show you the Road to travel. In the meantime, you be the best you can be no matter what you do-- pick up horse poop, teach in a public school, be a mom or dad. What ever you are doing, Spirit placed you there. So be amazing.... where you are now. With the people Spirit put in your life now. Wounded people want to walk away from the difficulties in their life and go off and heal others that will be compliant and give them lots of complements. But Spirit put you where you are. First be a Healer there, and be Healed. Then see where Spirit places you for your next assignment.
Imagine if we all took responsibility to heal our self !! And that became the norm in the culture. Wow. That being said, YOU can set a living example.... for your family, and for every one that comes into your orbit. THAT is Healing!!! If you are wounded, trying to heal others, that is not healing. That is a compulsion to seek out others like you in order to have your wounded world make more sense. When choosing a Healer or a Teacher, if you are wounded and not in recovery and do not have a Spiritual Practice, you could easily gravitate towards choosing a wounded healer thinking it is your intuition at work! If you are an alcoholic personality (see previous blog) your radar is set to recognize other alcoholic personalities as you literally have no life experience to sense or be drawn to any other kind of personality (see The Cave from previous blog). In the extreme, people not in recovery or who do not have a spiritual practice ( a practice, not just a belief system and some crystals) will manage to find a therapist that will molest them or is a practicing alcoholic because their radar is set for those vibrations. Sometimes this needs to happen, to help the person bottom out enough to venture out of The Cave (Plato).
Talk to your healer person. Ask many questions and see how detailed the answers are. If they are vague, you can bet it is a lie -- they may even be lying to themselves. Don't confront, just note. What is their background, what work have they done on themselves? In the past ? Now? What life challenges did they have to work through? Is there any evidence of them being good at what they do ? Do they have a REAL spiritual practice to keep themselves on track? Is it daily? Do they still have a Teacher? Etc. Take nothing for granted. The New Age is a polluted field now, just like therapy has become. It is rare to find an excellent yoga teacher, reiki person, or amazing Healer or Teacher due to the mass market creations of "just add water" instant certifications.
Wounded folks with huge ego needs will seek out ways to cultivate constant validations from people in order to make themselves feel good. Wounded people need to drink in complements like an alcoholic needs a fix and will offer others feel good experiences in order to produce the complements that are also part of their "fix." This is not to say there are not good Teachers out there.... there are. It is just harder these days to find them as any one with some money can create them selves as a healer or teacher. Find someone who makes you feel safe. Not just good ... safe. You might feel a bit scared too.... because when we are with someone that can truly open a door for us (not just make us feel good), a door we then have the choice to walk through... or not.... it is a bit scary. But a safe scary... like choosing to love someone. Healthy stress, challenge, and healthy fear are a natural part of life. All feel good..... is alcoholism, avoidance. When in doubt, wait .... and pray for Guidance.
Yours in the Journey...... Dr. M
The newest version of this are the instant "healers" of the New Age/Motivational/Self Help (self help meaning you do it all, with no help from Spirit). So many of these folks are not in recovery, wounded, desperately seeking relief, and desperately avoiding shadow work. How do I know? I know many folks in the new age industry (and it is an industry now), and I have many as clients who see me secretly so as not to ruin their public persona as a healer or teacher. The walking wounded will seek training in some modality that makes them feel good. Feel good trainings are often offered by people who want to spread "feeling good" as a way to self medicate instead of doing their own recovery work, or Spiritual shadow work. People cannot "fail" the feel good training or certifications. The facilitators don't want you to feel bad, and they want return customers. The wounded leading (and training!!) the wounded.
This is not to say all feel good practices are bad. They are not. But they are the unhealthy norm now in the new age billion dollar industry. In tribal days, Shamans, Medicine People, Healers, were sought out by SPIRIT. Spirit chose you. Clear signs came. People came. The Chosen just kept working developing their Higher Self and following the agenda given by Spirit. Spirit gave the training. Spirit supplied the Teacher and the Teachings. The ego driven human self did not choose a profession of Spirit by enrolling in a workshop.
Heal yourself, heal the world. We all believe we are connected. Change and heal yourself, and let Spirit place you where you need to be to radiate your healed and healing energy. (Great Reading about this-- the novel The Kin of Ata by Dorothy Bryant). Do not be swayed by the New Age billion dollar industry and try to become some kind of professional healer or spiritual teacher. Let Spirit show you the Road to travel. In the meantime, you be the best you can be no matter what you do-- pick up horse poop, teach in a public school, be a mom or dad. What ever you are doing, Spirit placed you there. So be amazing.... where you are now. With the people Spirit put in your life now. Wounded people want to walk away from the difficulties in their life and go off and heal others that will be compliant and give them lots of complements. But Spirit put you where you are. First be a Healer there, and be Healed. Then see where Spirit places you for your next assignment.
Imagine if we all took responsibility to heal our self !! And that became the norm in the culture. Wow. That being said, YOU can set a living example.... for your family, and for every one that comes into your orbit. THAT is Healing!!! If you are wounded, trying to heal others, that is not healing. That is a compulsion to seek out others like you in order to have your wounded world make more sense. When choosing a Healer or a Teacher, if you are wounded and not in recovery and do not have a Spiritual Practice, you could easily gravitate towards choosing a wounded healer thinking it is your intuition at work! If you are an alcoholic personality (see previous blog) your radar is set to recognize other alcoholic personalities as you literally have no life experience to sense or be drawn to any other kind of personality (see The Cave from previous blog). In the extreme, people not in recovery or who do not have a spiritual practice ( a practice, not just a belief system and some crystals) will manage to find a therapist that will molest them or is a practicing alcoholic because their radar is set for those vibrations. Sometimes this needs to happen, to help the person bottom out enough to venture out of The Cave (Plato).
Talk to your healer person. Ask many questions and see how detailed the answers are. If they are vague, you can bet it is a lie -- they may even be lying to themselves. Don't confront, just note. What is their background, what work have they done on themselves? In the past ? Now? What life challenges did they have to work through? Is there any evidence of them being good at what they do ? Do they have a REAL spiritual practice to keep themselves on track? Is it daily? Do they still have a Teacher? Etc. Take nothing for granted. The New Age is a polluted field now, just like therapy has become. It is rare to find an excellent yoga teacher, reiki person, or amazing Healer or Teacher due to the mass market creations of "just add water" instant certifications.
Wounded folks with huge ego needs will seek out ways to cultivate constant validations from people in order to make themselves feel good. Wounded people need to drink in complements like an alcoholic needs a fix and will offer others feel good experiences in order to produce the complements that are also part of their "fix." This is not to say there are not good Teachers out there.... there are. It is just harder these days to find them as any one with some money can create them selves as a healer or teacher. Find someone who makes you feel safe. Not just good ... safe. You might feel a bit scared too.... because when we are with someone that can truly open a door for us (not just make us feel good), a door we then have the choice to walk through... or not.... it is a bit scary. But a safe scary... like choosing to love someone. Healthy stress, challenge, and healthy fear are a natural part of life. All feel good..... is alcoholism, avoidance. When in doubt, wait .... and pray for Guidance.
Yours in the Journey...... Dr. M
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