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To Speak or Not to Speak

To Speak or Not to Speak Perhaps for some people teaching, helping, giving advice comes easy. For me there is angst. As a professor I would spend sleepless nights grading every small assignment. Do I give someone a “B” to encourage their effort when it is clear they have tried hard but ultimately hand in poor work? If I give them a “D” or “F” will it so wound them they will give up instead because of discouragement? If you give a “B” will they not realize it was only awarded to them to encourage them to keep at it, and not give up, but instead they will now be satisfied and stop working to get better, to improve? As a friend, do you ever give unsolicited or even solicited feedback or opinions: ”You are taking supplements that are useless because you are still smoking, drinking, and eating fast food, so you are just burning money.” Then you are told “We are all doing the best that we can” or sometimes the friendship ends.   Do you lie instead? Dodge the question?   ...