How to Help Others without Your Ego Being in Charge

How to Help Others without Your Ego Being in Charge

Once again this is a big subject, and in reality an article is absolutely no substitute for having a mentor or Teacher guide you.  Typically, even with people I work with, people continue the same ego driven behaviors over and over not catching it because they can’t catch it without practice and guidance from someone who can help them catch the nuances of slipping back into ego dominated behaviors. In other words, one workshop (or so called certification), reading some articles or books, and then practicing on your own typically will not give you success in change. As Einstein said, you cannot solve problems with the same mind (read mindset, paradigm, consciousness, level of awareness) that created the problem in the first place. This is why people go to 12 Step meetings, therapy, support groups or work with a mentor, Guru, Teacher, to get viewpoints, input, suggestions, guidance, from other people who are also on a Journey. And a best friend is not really a good option because the friendship will suffer if one acts like a True Teacher, offering challenges along with support and not just feeding you with reassurances or staying within an acceptable story line which is what friends tend to do.  Friendships cannot withstand the types of communications one has with a Teacher or the kind of blow back that occurs when one is challenged by a Teacher so friendships stay within the boundaries of saying “nice” things to keep the friendship level. You and your friends are attracted to each other because you are already level on the same playing field. Meaning you attract in friendship and love only what you can currently handle. With your friends and lovers you expect to “feel love” in the ways your ego currently needs and desires.

You are an energy field, Soul, in a body having a human experience and therefore, because you did agree to incarnate into a body, at some point you do have to deal with your humanity, meaning care for your body, learn to use boundaries, earn a living, learn about how to be a great parent or spouse or lover, heal your childhood, take responsibility for your ginormous ego, and implement an actual Spiritual Practice not just gossip with “guides” and friends. Working with the Divine Energetic Language of Source is different than  “chats” with your so called guides as those guides that are using verbal language you can understand  as a conversation means those chats are staying within a reality you already know, not presenting you with something you don’t know, a completely new vibration, a new reality. That is like your great conversations with friends which is different than those conversations with a Teacher. Only when you are able to maintain a regular and profound Spiritual Practice will you be able to achieve a deep level of ego detachment that will allow you to be humble enough to “listen and hear” and receive the language of Source via the Divine Silence of Meditation. That level of Spiritual Practice will allow you to detach from your ego and left brain.  It will allow you receive accelerated and amplified lessons and insights given to you through your Practice of connecting to Source not some internal conversation in your head. It is at this point you can handle Guidance from Source when helping others with the assurance you are not helping others in order to assuage your lower body desires, your hungry ego and your low self-esteem.

While you are developing your Practice you can reach out to help others while using mindfulness to be self-aware regarding your motivation for helping others and keeping your ego and narcissism and neediness in check. Where you can start is by changing your focus, your questions, and your awareness from “I am helping someone else” and all the amazingness you feel when doing that to simply paying profound attention to your attention. In other words, how are YOU feeling? Are you connected to your body (your anchor so you can reach further out to Spirit without getting lost or taken over by ego or entities)?  Through your connection to your body you access your own Soul energy, your Higher Self, and that is intimately and innately connected to Source. Can you feel your body, can you feel your sacred Soul Energy, you, and through that passageway of connecting by first going IN to you, your body, your energy field, can you now allow yourself to feel the connection to Source that happens the moment you connect with your Soul Energy?  Unfortunately most people do not have Silent Practice and cannot feel energy.  Even more unfortunate is that most people only know what it feels like to leave their body. Unhealed and wounded people are drawn to spirituality. Unhappy in their current human life they seek out spirituality as a way to constantly leave their body , escape their emotions or to get away from their current life that they chose while in Spirit form, working with their Guides planning every phase of this incarnation. Your Soul Energy is your connection to Source. When you leave your body, when you check out of who you are, you are severing the connection to your Soul it is as if you are telling Source (and yourself) that this life you are living, this incarnation, is a mistake, and one you need to escape from. Sever the connection to your Soul and go out of body there is no telling what you are connecting with: your imagination, your ego, other entities, other Spirits.

 A starting point for helping others when you do not yet have an established Practice or Path of silent meditation is to keep the focus on you, your energy and your connection to your Soul Energy which is always instantly connected to Source, while working on or with another. By keeping the focus on you and your connection you are allowing a bigger energy, Source, to work through you. This will also keep your ego in check and distracted by keeping the focus on your connection rather than wondering if you are being “amazing”. Keeping the focus on you and feeling the energy of your connection to Soul and Source will keep your ego from obsessing about “results” and away from your investment and ego desire to achieve some recognizable results for the efforts. Keeping your ego in check by focusing on your Connection will help you to remember that “you” are not the one doing the healing or “reading” rather you are working hard, concentrating, on maintaining a mindful self-awareness on connection to Source via your Soul so that Source can guide the session, healing or “reading”.

Whether or not you have a so called “gift” or talent you need a Practice. If you have a great body and don’t take care of it, there will be a deterioration, so it is with energetic gifts and I have yet to meet a balanced practitioner who does not have a Teacher, a human Teacher, not just your imaginary spiritual angels or guides.  The key word there is “balanced”. Human Teachers keep you humble, challenge you, and give you healthy support (not ego gratifying support) which may be why so many people prefer to work with the “guidance” of their imagination. Working with a human Teacher also teaches you important social skills such as boundaries, learning to speak up, not being intimidated or manipulated (or intimidating and manipulative). Why the resistance? After all, you did sign up to come into a body, be a human and interact with the society of your choice. Do you think you made a mistake about that when you were pure Soul with your Guides?  Do you really think that now you are in a human body you “know better” about choosing this life than when you were pure Energy and therefore will continue to tackle this life from your left brain, your ego and your imagination masquerading as “spirits” and angels?

Start with you. Your primary purpose in this life is this life, your life, your body, your energy field, your connection to Soul and to Source.  Once you can own that, have self-care in place and have at least begun to have a personal practice for your own spiritual cultivation then you can look at your doing-ness. Meaning, work on your being-ness first. Get your own house in order. Then when your fate and destiny roll in, your doing-ness, you will be at the top of your game, prepared for what will come and get you, prepared for the destiny you put in place before you ever incarnated.

Journey On