Jumping into Spirituality

 

Jumping into Spirituality

You would think it is pure joy for a Spiritual Teacher when a new person jumps in whole heartedly into his/her Path and Practice and  if in addition the person has all the “right rhetoric” such as “my guides” or “my guidance, “I just know”, “I had a vision”… or prayed…. or “saw” or “ I just knew this is what I need right now one” that one would expect the great things, true commitment, from this particular “seeker.” One can observe this same kind of behavior in those “jumping in” to a new (again) diet or exercise program. In fact any time one crows about their commitment or newly proclaimed goals, this is a red flag, not the beginning of a success story. Neurological research has proven once you set a goal, your brain feels like you have already attained that goal and your neurochemistry shifts which explains the euphoria you feel when you decide to “start a diet” or any other project. Unfortunately with this biochemical neurological shift, once the “high” of “I’m going to do it” wears off there is a slump and disappointment on one end of the spectrum and rage and blame on the other end of the spectrum when you settle into the reality of all the hard work, focus and patience needed to attain the goal, any goal.

The new “seeker” comes to you with what looks like enthusiasm, but when this enthusiasm is so over the top, you can be sure there is a gaping hole in the person, a deep need in his/her life that needs filling, immediately, like an addict needing a fix, a fix to not feel or face something close by, so close that this seeker is really a rabbit running from some perceived coyote in his/her life. Their neurochemistry of need has possessed them and the fix is creating and pursuing a new goal to shift brain chemistry instead of a drink, a toke, a snort, or a fix. This is hard to catch because the fix needed is not only invisible and unconscious but is also a socially acceptable behavior often considered the attribute of a “successful” person in the Western culture and one typically feels compelled to support this addictive behavior or risk being called (gasp) “negative”, or a dream killer. In the extreme people addicted to setting new goals as their drug of choice, a way to dampen uncomfortable or challenging internal feelings will move from one spiritual practice another,  from one new-age fad to new-age fad,  from city to city, job to job, therapist to therapist, or this “cure” to another “cure. I my groups I have seen numerous examples of this; the most enthusiastic “I have found myself, I have found a Teacher “etc. . . leaving the practice and going on rampages of recreational drugs, drinking, some had breakdowns and went on medication and downhill from there to being institutionalized. Others declared themselves to be walk-ins, mediums, and teachers themselves none of which is wrong however they all stopped having a personal practice. Their new “drug of choices” are all methods of running away from the Self and therefore from Spirit. No Self, no one home, there is no way to receive Guidance.  No one home inside, you can bet “guidance” is coming from ego and need based on emotional wounds, not coming from a Higher Source.

Just as people in the dating cycle of their life have to learn the “signs” of an unbalanced person on the first date that gives you over the top romancing (if it is a narcissist, it is called love bombing) so it is true in many other circumstances. Personal trainers learn to recognize that the overly enthusiastic person will be the first to quit as they do not have the balance and discipline for the practice but rather are creating a false high of “I’m gonna do it!” and once that wears off, it is crash and burn time. People who help others maintain a weight loss diet learn this, counselors working with college freshman, financial counselors and many more learn to recognize the signs of when a person is seeking escape and relief versus a person approaching a new goal, strategy or practice in a balanced manner ready to make the time and put in the effort for slow, steady, methodical gains. This latter is not as boring as it sounds and in fact it is the slow and steady practice that allows one to experience miracles. Those seeking miracles to avoid pain are running to hard and fast away from pain to be able to notice any miracles and actually wouldn’t recognize one if it happened because all they are looking for is a pain killer.

If you are a Teacher, personal trainer, therapist, dietician, and actually a parent with a teenager lol, and you see these signs, there really is nothing you can do about it as the person is in deep denial, unable to see what is happening. All you can do is try to slow the person down so either there is no train wreck, or the train wreck happens it happens at 30 mph instead of 120 mph. You will also need to stay detached as you typically will be attacked (emotionally but sometimes even physical threats) as the person in denial needs an excuse, a reason for “failing” or moving on and you and/or your program or methods or path need to be made bad and wrong for the person in denial to justify his/her decision.  A healthy person simply makes a choice without having to attack what they are leaving. They “take the best and leave the rest” as is said in 12-step programs. In all my 32 years of experience, only one person was able to turn around her wild beginning. One time I called her to see if there was some magic formula that I had inadvertently used that actually “worked” to offset the oncoming potential train wreck. Her response was, “no, I simply managed to pull my head out of my ass.” I laughed, but was also disappointed as I was hoping for a “cure” lol. I will add that she stayed. While spinning out, she stayed, and communicated, pulled back, but stayed, then came back. Why her and not others? I wish I knew.  Other than, it is all in the hands of Spirit and she was willing to not only “Listen”, but also put aside her ego and “Follow” the Spiritual Energies active in her life. Others have left and come back, only a few, because the ego is horrified to be humbled and so many people find it so hard to admit to jumping off a cliff or off a Path that they would rather continue on the harder Path (be it diet and exercise, therapy or spiritual rather than admit to having a learning curve, admit to making mistakes (a healthy and necessary part of any learning).

If you notice yourself being overly enthusiastic, telling yourself such things as “this is it”, “I know this is what I am supposed to do” (one of the most over used new-age slogans), “I have discovered my gift” (sigh) slow down. People have learned (the hard way) to do this with lustful romance. It also applies to those lusting after having a “spiritual purpose” or “calling” or “gift”. These too are lusts. If something is “meant to be” slowing down will not affect anything.  In fact you will be able to sense or “get” clearer Guidance because you are slowing down and tuning in.  If you are fortunate enough to study with a Teacher, why not let that person teach? Why not wait for that person to encourage you rather than you launching yourself?

Enough said.  The bottom line is when people are in denial it literally means they cannot see anything else but what they are telling themselves. And there is no way to get through until the person either bottoms out  to wake up (this process usually takes year for a turnaround as it takes years to undo the damage caused during the bottom out spin out), or the person starts to ask questions.  So, another red flag is, if you find yourself determined to “move forward” or follow what you believe to be your guidance (when really you are being guided by your wounds) and you clearly decide to stop talking to your Teacher (or therapist, or trainer etc.) or to stop asking questions you can bet you are headed for the path of bottoming you rather than slowing down, and asking questions. Remember, just because you ask questions does not obligate you to “follow orders” etc. Also remember you chose your Teacher (therapist, nutritionist, trainer etc.) for a reason….. where did that go? Contemplate that.  Are you “moving on” because you feel you are done (but no one else has said that to you, lol), you feel pissed off by things said to you, that you are being (gasp) criticized, not appreciated enough or getting enough recognition for being “special”, feel you are being “held back”, decided you now know more than the person?  When one is truly “done” with a relationship, be it love, friendship, Teacher, trainer, therapist etc. you will not have a charge about it, meaning you will feel pretty neutral. You will be able to easily discuss (not announce and leave) your decision to transition. You will not be overly emotional or “sensitive” about the gentle feelings you have about your decision. You will not make the other bad and wrong and you will not shut that person out to protect ego.

Sadly, the people who could most use this information will either not like this article, or announce it as wrong or false information and then probably call friends who will agree with them to have a discussion about what is bad and wrong, further talking themselves into their denial. This is what addicts of all kinds do. “Hey man, I’m not an alcoholic, we just like to party or socially drink. Yeah man, right on” is a typical “let’s stay in denial” conversation.  Those in denial hang out together for company, to keep their stories going, to keep their reality of choice alive. For those who already “get it”, this article will be validation. Denial is the most challenging condition humans face when it comes to one’s personal evolution. You will come out of denial, that you can believe. It will happen either as life bottoms you out, or if you seek to become awakened by slowing down, by staying, asking questions, communicating until you are in neutral and there are no enemies.

Journey On