On being Specific. How to Avoid your Life

On being specific. How to avoid your life.

Whenever I have someone in a session for spiritual evolution, I receive a detailed report of everything that the person thinks is wrong with him/her, every transgression, dates, times, places, what was said, even the weather and what people were wearing. When I ask, “what is working in your life” or “what progress have you been making,” if I get any information at all it is generic minimization or generic grandiosity.  “I was amazing last week.” No descriptions of actual behavior, or mention of history with a specific explanation of how progress had been made. Or, “I sucked,” again with no specifics, just an opinion.

It is hard to evolve, to change, harder than staying stuck which is why people usually stay stuck until they are in excruciating pain (emotional, physical, or both). Not only is hard to change and evolve, it is even more difficult to sustain. Look at how many people “know” about a good diet and the benefits of exercise, yet how many implement this knowledge into their lives?  How many keep up the good practices?  Being specific helps you focus on your progress and gains in life. It also teaches you to shift your focus from “what’s wrong with me” to “what’s right with me.” This is not fake positive thinking; it is a disciplined change of focus. Not denying the issues one is working on, or the pain, however making a concerted effort to focus on the work being done, the walls coming down, and the new structures being put into place.

You cannot change without being specific. You cannot tune up a car, take medicine, or design an exercise program that works without first being very specific about the details of a problem you wish to solve.  When people insist upon being “generic” they are dodging, being defensive, and in general indicating they are not ready to make any changes. Interestingly enough, people get very specific when praying, “telling” Spirit what to do, what they need and want. This indicates that it is not that the person doesn’t know how to be specific, but rather s/he is indeed in defensive resistance.

The same is true with generic grandiosity. “People tell me I am amazing.”  If you get specific about what you actually did that amazed and awed your audience, the actual behavior or words spoken, it will ground you and tame your ego. You will find that by being specific, you do not amaze and awe yourself. Instead, you will see how your hard work and progress paid off in what looks “amazing” to others who are not privy to the work you did behind the scenes. Specificity is one of the ways to learn to spot con artists and even sociopaths. It is hard to keep up the lies when someone asks you to be specific. A red flag on spotting con artists, cheaters and some sociopaths (some are just too good to catch this way) is when someone gets angry, or rages at you or even attacks you when you ask questions that require specificity in the answers. (The best defense is an offense).

Avoiding being specific is a way to not only shut down others, but yourself as well. It is a way to lie to yourself whether it is about how amazing you are or if you are minimizing a problem by making it generic. Shut down any emotion and all your emotions are impacted. Lie to yourself, and you will find yourself at first very lonely as no one really knows you, they only know your lies. That will then develop into a deep self-hatred as the lies compound and you have gotten in too deep to feel you can ever get out of the persona(s) you created.

If you want to heal, in any fashion, dare to be specific in discovery and recovery. Stop being specific with Spirit. Let Spirit Guide you and stop bossing around a higher intelligence. How do you know if you are not being specific?  Specific means you answer the questions who, what, when, where and how. There are no opinions or speculations. There are descriptions of the facts, including what you felt, not an opinion of what you felt or what you imagine others are feeling.  Show Spirit that you really do want to change. Spirit cannot make you confront your self, your shame, your secrets, your grandiosity. Spirit can only direct us in Healing what we have the courage to examine.

Journey On.