Acceptance, Surrender; Now What?

Acceptance, Surrender; Now what??

Nothing can change until you become aware of “it” (whatever issue or circumstances are current) and nothing can change until you learn all the lessons from each experience in your life and you learn everything Spirit has to Teach you in each experience. Remember you chose to learn these lessons (as well as pleasures) when you set up this incarnation. Using Mindfulness, not just in meditation, but in daily life, to become more self-aware, is one Practice used to become more awakened, self-aware, and conscious.  Meditation, the kind of meditation taught at Life Path Healings, is another Practice that will help you to wake up and become conscious. At Life Path Healings when we meditate we are asking Spirit to come and Teach us, Heal us. We do not use meditation to “feel good”, astral travel, calm down or “talk to guides”. We meditate to be open, to accept and surrender to what we are given, what we are shown. Twelve-Step meetings, Shadow Work under the Guidance of a Teacher, Healer or therapist, reading non-fiction books on self-care, self-help, self-parenting, psychology, spiritual awakening will all help you to hone your senses and will help you to understand what you are sensing, seeing, feeling, intuiting. Looking into your family history and learning about it will show you how some of your behaviors, feelings and thoughts originated and were programmed into you (remember you choose to incarnate into that family because that family was going to help you learn and evolve as a Soul so you need at some point to take on that learning even if you are a so-called extra-terrestrial etc.)  The work you do at this stage will teach you skills that you will continue to use throughout your life should you choose to live as an awakened person. We can call this stage learning how to learn. Learning how to learn means you are willing to ask questions (even about things you think you already know or you think you are an expert in), that you are willing to take risks by putting into practice what you are learning, and that you are willing to make mistakes (an inevitable part of learning) and not turn your mistakes into a failed ego trip or a victim story but rather a hero’s journey of learning.  In short, you need to be willing to do the work it takes to learn rather than waiting to be spoon fed information, or stories of “who” you are (a starseed, extra-terrestrial etc.) or being told what to do step by step in order to get over or get through the things and emotions you don’t like. Becoming a learner also means you learn to treasure delayed gratification.

Learning how to learn brings consciousness and self-awareness.  And if you are learning about your Self, you will have to become humble. Humble enough to discover you are mean, greedy, lazy, manipulative as well as soft, sweet, smart, caring. All humans are a mixture. That is our perfection. When you are humble you can accept what you learn about your Self. It will take some tears and fears, some pity parties,  and some rage. All of that is part of acceptance; it is not graceful!  Acceptance also means you keep the big picture in mind so you can stay balanced. Yes you are mean and greedy, but you are also smart and help people solve problems. Sinking into the morass of being a victim is a giant ego trip. It means you still have to be the “best”. Either you are the best at something or you are the “best” at being the “worst”.  Both are ego trips. Learn to find the mixture of your flavors that make you a unique combination of characteristics that make you “you”.  This is surrender. Accepting what is. There is pain and joy and usually a great deal of “relief” to finally accept that you ARE fat, lazy, mean, manipulative, or that you are an over-giver, covertly aggressive, etc. The strange paradox is the moment you stop “trying” to be “better” (which means all your efforts have been focused on trying to “not be” who you actually are) you are now open and therefore teachable.  Once you say you are fat, you cannot diet, and you hate your body, you can be taught. Spirit (and therapists, Teachers, healers) can now bring up all the emotions and circumstances that contribute to your “fat-ness”.  You are struggling with “fat” because you chose that as a way to learn before you ever incarnated. Surrender means you surrender to what is happening now, at this very moment. Surrender does not mean you are in resignation that you will be (for example) fat forever. It means you feel the grief, fear, sadness, self-loathing, even resignation about your “fat-ness” that is occurring now, that may continue forever, or, it may not!

With acceptance and surrender, the next thing that needs to happen is self-care. When you learn to sky dive you don’t do it without a parachute.  You always need self-care when learning because learning is challenging, scary, and fun and most of all, you do not know what you are doing therefore you need to proceed with extra caution and Mindfulness. Along with self-care, if you do not have a Spiritual Practice meaning you actually invest your time, energy and attention on connecting to your Higher Self and to Spirit you will be missing a vital element: Guidance from Source. You can’t do this “talking” to your so-called guides while in the shower.  An added benefit (and one I ALWAYS sought out) is to seek out and have a Mentor, Teacher, Healer, therapist, or Elder to work with, talk to, laugh with, to learn from and to help you keep things in perspective with their wisdom. If you are lucky enough to find someone like this, I hope you will show your respect for the treasures they offer you and the time they give you.

So now you have become aware of something(s), you have accepted it (them), and you surrender to the Now that what you have discovered is true, is happening or did in fact happen.  You will have to feel your feelings in order to learn more. You will have to share your feelings.  You will have to “up” your Practice (which requires your time, energy and attention) of Self-Care (the one exception to this can be if you have a child, their care is either the same priority as your self-care, or may need to take first priority). When learning deep material, Self-Care needs and practices will need to change and you will have to immediately put new practices in place and possibly learn new practices (and you cannot do this alone). Once Self-Care is up and running, at least a bit, you can start taking the risks necessary to learning.  But what do you need to learn?  Spirit will NOT Guide you step by step because you need strength to learn and all Souls come here to learn (in part) how to become stronger in different areas of life and evolution.  Guiding someone “step by step” does not strengthen the person. In some emergencies it might be necessary. However, even with step by step guidance, you will still need to take the risk of following those steps!  So now what?  First off, remember you have just learned something and if it is dysfunctional for you, your first actions are to stop doing what you know you do that is dysfunctional. If you talk all the time, try silence. If you never talk, start talking. If you always have a mate/partner in your life, or always ask the mate/partner in your life to “help you out”, try being alone or at least alone more. Stop asking him/her for help. Ask your friends or hire someone.  If you always compulsively do something, try the opposite or try not-doing, or try something completely new. If you always check out or act “wacky” as a way to not be held accountable or as a way to not feel your feelings, try making eye contact or staying present (there are techniques you can learn to do this).

Not doing what you know does not work is a first step of learning. This also means you have to be willing to make mistakes and be willing and able learn from your mistakes rather than using the experience of mistakes to spiral into a victim party that most people use to “get out of” doing their work or feeling their feelings.  At some point you are going to have to try “new “ideas, solutions, behaviors, and new ways of thinking.  You will have to read and study and PRACTICE which again means using your attention, time, and energy to DO new things. Thinking alone does nothing. Having “insight” and yet another “great narrative” (about your chakras or a past life etc.) does nothing. Doing nothing is also a choice and when you do nothing you are still using your attention, time and energy to do “nothing”. If you use mindfulness you will discover that your “nothing” is still “something” meaning you are still overeating, shutting down, using people, avoiding discussion, manipulating, “checking out”, getting high (on sugar, chemicals, etc.) You are always using your attention, time and energy on something. You may be unconscious about what your choices and call it “doing nothing”. If you want to wake up and stay awakened you will have to work hard at first (until it becomes a new habit) to keep your choices conscious. And then you need to OWN your choices so you do not continue to manipulate people by singing or portraying your victim song.

As you try new things to do based on your help from your Teacher, therapist, Healer etc. or ideas that “come” to you intuitively or as Guidance you will have to again be Mindful. Are the new things helping? If not, can you tweak it or do you need to try something else? You cannot do this alone without some other human (elder, mentor, Teacher, 12-step, etc.).  You will learn something from everything you try and everything you do!  None of your efforts will be in vain as each choice, decision and action will show you something about what works and what doesn’t work. Each experience takes you another step down the Path of Healing (unless you insist on framing it all into a picture of you as a victim, a loser etc.). Part of your work (meaning using your attention, time and energy to Practice new things) will be to make sure you focus on what you learned so far, and continue to search (using your attention, time and energy) for other new things to do, There is no shortcut to using your attention (your focus), time and energy to learn, heal and grow. No one can do this work for you.

If you choose to live your life as a protégé (a passionate student) of Spirit, of self-growth and Soul Evolution, you will have a life that is rich beyond comparison. Your experiences, revelations, connections, energetic experiences will take you on a trip you cannot yet imagine. You will also be a minority in our current culture however Spirit will help you find your tribe of other awakened (and awakening) people. As an awakened person, committed to using your attention, time and energy to fully embrace this life (rather than avoid it) your children, pets, the land you live on, parents, friends, partners, will be blessed by your energy and your wisdom.  As a protégé, you will be in a Relationship with Source and your Higher Self and your Intuition will Soar. This will fill your life with Magic.

Journey On