Shenpa is not "calling out"
Shenpa: Is Not “Getting Called Out:
First read Pema Chodron’s article on Shenpa: (https://www.lionsroar.com/how-we-get-hooked-shenpa-and-how-we-get-unhooked/)
She does address that people find it hard, threatening, embarrassing, to practice Shenpa even if it is coming from your Teacher that loves you so much s/he is more committed to your advancement than you are at times. Your Teacher is your path to extraordinary because s/he has no investment in praising you in your mediocrity or dysfunction in order to help you (falsely) “feel good” so you will keep coming back. Shenpa is a form of mindfulness, applied to you, so you can call it Mindful self-awareness. In this age of “victim worship” most people have been taught and rewarded for “praising” victims, no matter what. This approach infers that the victim is deformed delicate broken porcelain object that must be treated with soft gloves. As if the victim is so emotionally and mentally deranged that you must coddle them because deep down inside you don’t believe they have the resources in their own Self to recover, to grow, to self-validate. This ultimately is a put down not a vote of confidence. This gives the message to the victim that they are ruined for life and therefore you will tolerate “any” behavior from them. This gives the subliminal message that you feel sorry for them, do not expect much if anything from them, and also do not ultimately believe they will ever recover. They are, in your mind and how you treat them, damaged for life. But they are not. Getting a scar is not brain damage.
Yes, there is a stage of venting, feeling the pain, telling the story, getting comforted. And then there is the start of the healing process and recovery. (See my article Victim to Survivor to Soul Evolution). Because “victim worship” is currently “in”, people get addicted to their stories and in fact many create themselves as victims: having no money when in fact they live in a great house and have every “toy” possible and don’t even have to work for a living, having a bad spouse when in fact the person complaining is a bottomless pit of neediness themselves and hates the word “no” when they want things, they have been a horrible parent but cry about their own childhood instead of looking at their own parenting skills or lack of, the list goes on. Self-created victims who are now adults and are victims who are not in recovery work become predatory; they stalk out people to give them what they want, in the name of needing support or help but when either is offered that requires any effort on their part, or taking on some personal accountability, or requires some self-examination they will lash out, attack you, and you will be called mean, harsh, cruel or even abusive!
Often so-called “empaths” are indeed unrecovered victims themselves. By the way, this often goes for therapists too. Many have been wounded in childhood and become therapists as a “way” to ease their own pain without doing their own recovery work on themselves. If you have been victimized as a child you are a psychic, end of story. The only way a child survives abuse, since they are powerless slaves of their parents, and often don’t even have language yet for what is happening to them (or any language at all) is to become incredibly psychic. This allows them to preternaturally sense danger before it comes close to them, and also to dissociate, leave their body when attacked. Until they get into recovery these kinds of “psychics” and “empaths” are “food” not only for the human walking wounded but also for entities of all sorts.
The walking wounded, if not in recovery will always at some point become predators, revengeful, mean, controlling and worse will feel totally justified in doing so. People who have been victimized as a child learned that the world is populated with two kinds of people, hammers and nails and they will vacillate between these two options as this is all they know, until they are in recovery. They will “hustle” you for support, pity, comfort and in general “getting their way”. They hustle, manipulate, connive, people please, lie (even to themselves) because these are the only survival skills they learned, so far, until they take on the journey of recovery and re-education to learn new skills they don’t even know exist. Their favorite prey will be the unsuspecting, uneducated “empaths”. This dance between the different versions of the unhealed walking wounded can go on for a lifetime.
Usually “victims” that want to wake up first seek out people who will soothe them, comfort them, empathize with their stories and their wounds often for a few years or a few decades. Unhealed empaths with no education other than their own journey and their self-proclaimed “psychic gifts” (and often unhealed therapists) work well for them at this point. When a wounded person decides to “wake-up”, at some point they will have to also decide to give up their victim identity. Typically when that happens they go into predator mode for a while (unless they quit recovery, then they will stay in predator mode for a few decades, the “I deserve it” people). This happens in part because while they have woken up, they have not yet learned new skills, coping skills (other than manipulating as a victim or taking as a predator), communication skills, boundaries, discernment and so much more. Also, to move away from predator mode (hammer and nail perspective) people have to start looking at, owning, taking responsibility and being accountable for their own behaviors for all the decades since their childhood abuse or neglect.
After years of harvesting attention from their “stories” unhealed victims are reluctant, to say the least, to give up this benefit and start to grow up. The predator skills of an unhealed victim are all the person knows to use to get what they want in life. And getting what they want in life is all they know to do to “move forward” from being a victim. At first, challenging these skills will feel like an attack to the unhealed victim and they will lash out with all of their underhanded vicious predatory energy and skills. Because childhood victims become psychic to survive, as unhealed wounded adults their psychic skills will be unleased in predatory attacks towards anyone they feel might be threatening them (real or imagined) , their “I deserve it” way of life or their “I earned it “ survival skills. Unhealed “empaths” and therapists do not have the skills, strength or spiritual practice to handle the blow back, the back lash of a victim/predator (nail/hammer) feels “challenged “ or threatened by having to look at his/her own bad behaviors. Bad behaviors that must be brought to consciousness before different choices can be learned and made.
At this point, try to set a boundary with a victim in their predatory mode and you will be attacked, made to be wrong, criticized (using their wounded “psychic” skills to try to wound as deeply as possible). Some will even physically threaten you. Others will use vicious gossip, try to disrupt or destroy your life. Cut you out of your life (this one is a blessing for those of you who are not trained professionals). If you are a “civilian” around this phase (hopefully not permanent but sadly, for their children and others, is) you will have to kowtow to them or use avoidance and placating techniques to not be attacked, destroyed, hurt by the predatory energies of the psychic walking wounded who feel “I deserve it”, “get out of my way” and all the other predatory slogans that sell so well in our culture. Sigh. The walking wounded are attached to their victim story and if you try to take that away you will be attacked (and called harsh, brutal, etc.). Try to protect yourself from this predatory backlash and you will be criticized or attacked without mercy. If the person (walking wounded) has been in therapy with another unhealed person, or an unhealed “empath” or so-called psychic, their victim stories and the “you deserve it, you should go get it” stance will have had years of reinforcement making it so much harder to move out of the predatory phase into the beginning of real recovery, working with Source as well as education to learn all the alternatives, all the nuances in between the extremes of hammer and nail.
Before you learn new social skills other than hammer and nail, you have to wake up, look at your victim issues and how you used people and things to get comfort and/or be distracted from your wounds. Then you have to look at your own bad behaviors towards others, towards your Self and have the courage to learn to make amends and get off your “I deserve it” or “I am right” high horse and start to be open to learning, to be teachable. Finally you will be able to live with the practice of Shenpa on a daily basis and it will be fun, amazing, educational and most of all not only will your life be filled with more joy, you will be a secret agent helping to heal all around you especially your family and your loved ones. As Pema Chodron states in her article, it is almost (if not completely) impossible to practice Shenpa if you do not meditate (silent, working with Source, not guided or musical meditations used to feel better etc.). If you do not meditate it will be virtually impossible to allow your Teacher (if you are lucky and blessed enough to have one) to work with you and Shenpa.
The meditation classes at Life Path Healings can accelerate your growth, boost and support you in your Journey of Healing. We do practice Shenpa which is not what some might label “calling out”, harsh, or brutal “. Calling out “ is shaming and challenging and is typically defined as “making” someone be accountable for his/her “bad” behavior. People who only know hammer and nail, victim and predator will (at first) label Shenpa as “calling out”. Shenpa means detachment. This means no longer defining yourself as a victim or as an “I deserve it” person, Shenpa means you are no longer attached to calling your predatory behaviors “bad”. Now you can just look at them and decide if you still want to use them or make other choices. Practicing and living with Shenpa is fun (after you get used to it) and educational. You practice with your Self but typically you cannot do this alone because when you have lived with unconscious behaviors for so long, you can no longer see them, identify them. If you are lucky or blessed enough to have a practice with a Teacher and a community, Shenpa will also come from people who love you and who want to love you more. Shenpa comes from people you have given your permission to practice Shenpa with you because you trust them, their Path, their work and you want to work through your own growth with that community, friend, Teacher etc. You learn to laugh at your now unwanted behaviors (after all no one is perfect) as you learn new skills so you will have new choices than your old hurtful or abusive reactive behaviors. It is a blessing to have a Teacher and a community that is committed to your evolution and your growth who are willing to risk your potential backlash when they practice Shenpa with you and you with them.
If you haven’t read the Pema article mentioned at the top of this article, please read it. If this all makes you smile, makes your heart beat faster with anticipation, come to classes at Life Path Healings and book some private time with Dr. Marie and get your Shenpa on.
Journey On
First read Pema Chodron’s article on Shenpa: (https://www.lionsroar.com/how-we-get-hooked-shenpa-and-how-we-get-unhooked/)
She does address that people find it hard, threatening, embarrassing, to practice Shenpa even if it is coming from your Teacher that loves you so much s/he is more committed to your advancement than you are at times. Your Teacher is your path to extraordinary because s/he has no investment in praising you in your mediocrity or dysfunction in order to help you (falsely) “feel good” so you will keep coming back. Shenpa is a form of mindfulness, applied to you, so you can call it Mindful self-awareness. In this age of “victim worship” most people have been taught and rewarded for “praising” victims, no matter what. This approach infers that the victim is deformed delicate broken porcelain object that must be treated with soft gloves. As if the victim is so emotionally and mentally deranged that you must coddle them because deep down inside you don’t believe they have the resources in their own Self to recover, to grow, to self-validate. This ultimately is a put down not a vote of confidence. This gives the message to the victim that they are ruined for life and therefore you will tolerate “any” behavior from them. This gives the subliminal message that you feel sorry for them, do not expect much if anything from them, and also do not ultimately believe they will ever recover. They are, in your mind and how you treat them, damaged for life. But they are not. Getting a scar is not brain damage.
Yes, there is a stage of venting, feeling the pain, telling the story, getting comforted. And then there is the start of the healing process and recovery. (See my article Victim to Survivor to Soul Evolution). Because “victim worship” is currently “in”, people get addicted to their stories and in fact many create themselves as victims: having no money when in fact they live in a great house and have every “toy” possible and don’t even have to work for a living, having a bad spouse when in fact the person complaining is a bottomless pit of neediness themselves and hates the word “no” when they want things, they have been a horrible parent but cry about their own childhood instead of looking at their own parenting skills or lack of, the list goes on. Self-created victims who are now adults and are victims who are not in recovery work become predatory; they stalk out people to give them what they want, in the name of needing support or help but when either is offered that requires any effort on their part, or taking on some personal accountability, or requires some self-examination they will lash out, attack you, and you will be called mean, harsh, cruel or even abusive!
Often so-called “empaths” are indeed unrecovered victims themselves. By the way, this often goes for therapists too. Many have been wounded in childhood and become therapists as a “way” to ease their own pain without doing their own recovery work on themselves. If you have been victimized as a child you are a psychic, end of story. The only way a child survives abuse, since they are powerless slaves of their parents, and often don’t even have language yet for what is happening to them (or any language at all) is to become incredibly psychic. This allows them to preternaturally sense danger before it comes close to them, and also to dissociate, leave their body when attacked. Until they get into recovery these kinds of “psychics” and “empaths” are “food” not only for the human walking wounded but also for entities of all sorts.
The walking wounded, if not in recovery will always at some point become predators, revengeful, mean, controlling and worse will feel totally justified in doing so. People who have been victimized as a child learned that the world is populated with two kinds of people, hammers and nails and they will vacillate between these two options as this is all they know, until they are in recovery. They will “hustle” you for support, pity, comfort and in general “getting their way”. They hustle, manipulate, connive, people please, lie (even to themselves) because these are the only survival skills they learned, so far, until they take on the journey of recovery and re-education to learn new skills they don’t even know exist. Their favorite prey will be the unsuspecting, uneducated “empaths”. This dance between the different versions of the unhealed walking wounded can go on for a lifetime.
Usually “victims” that want to wake up first seek out people who will soothe them, comfort them, empathize with their stories and their wounds often for a few years or a few decades. Unhealed empaths with no education other than their own journey and their self-proclaimed “psychic gifts” (and often unhealed therapists) work well for them at this point. When a wounded person decides to “wake-up”, at some point they will have to also decide to give up their victim identity. Typically when that happens they go into predator mode for a while (unless they quit recovery, then they will stay in predator mode for a few decades, the “I deserve it” people). This happens in part because while they have woken up, they have not yet learned new skills, coping skills (other than manipulating as a victim or taking as a predator), communication skills, boundaries, discernment and so much more. Also, to move away from predator mode (hammer and nail perspective) people have to start looking at, owning, taking responsibility and being accountable for their own behaviors for all the decades since their childhood abuse or neglect.
After years of harvesting attention from their “stories” unhealed victims are reluctant, to say the least, to give up this benefit and start to grow up. The predator skills of an unhealed victim are all the person knows to use to get what they want in life. And getting what they want in life is all they know to do to “move forward” from being a victim. At first, challenging these skills will feel like an attack to the unhealed victim and they will lash out with all of their underhanded vicious predatory energy and skills. Because childhood victims become psychic to survive, as unhealed wounded adults their psychic skills will be unleased in predatory attacks towards anyone they feel might be threatening them (real or imagined) , their “I deserve it” way of life or their “I earned it “ survival skills. Unhealed “empaths” and therapists do not have the skills, strength or spiritual practice to handle the blow back, the back lash of a victim/predator (nail/hammer) feels “challenged “ or threatened by having to look at his/her own bad behaviors. Bad behaviors that must be brought to consciousness before different choices can be learned and made.
At this point, try to set a boundary with a victim in their predatory mode and you will be attacked, made to be wrong, criticized (using their wounded “psychic” skills to try to wound as deeply as possible). Some will even physically threaten you. Others will use vicious gossip, try to disrupt or destroy your life. Cut you out of your life (this one is a blessing for those of you who are not trained professionals). If you are a “civilian” around this phase (hopefully not permanent but sadly, for their children and others, is) you will have to kowtow to them or use avoidance and placating techniques to not be attacked, destroyed, hurt by the predatory energies of the psychic walking wounded who feel “I deserve it”, “get out of my way” and all the other predatory slogans that sell so well in our culture. Sigh. The walking wounded are attached to their victim story and if you try to take that away you will be attacked (and called harsh, brutal, etc.). Try to protect yourself from this predatory backlash and you will be criticized or attacked without mercy. If the person (walking wounded) has been in therapy with another unhealed person, or an unhealed “empath” or so-called psychic, their victim stories and the “you deserve it, you should go get it” stance will have had years of reinforcement making it so much harder to move out of the predatory phase into the beginning of real recovery, working with Source as well as education to learn all the alternatives, all the nuances in between the extremes of hammer and nail.
Before you learn new social skills other than hammer and nail, you have to wake up, look at your victim issues and how you used people and things to get comfort and/or be distracted from your wounds. Then you have to look at your own bad behaviors towards others, towards your Self and have the courage to learn to make amends and get off your “I deserve it” or “I am right” high horse and start to be open to learning, to be teachable. Finally you will be able to live with the practice of Shenpa on a daily basis and it will be fun, amazing, educational and most of all not only will your life be filled with more joy, you will be a secret agent helping to heal all around you especially your family and your loved ones. As Pema Chodron states in her article, it is almost (if not completely) impossible to practice Shenpa if you do not meditate (silent, working with Source, not guided or musical meditations used to feel better etc.). If you do not meditate it will be virtually impossible to allow your Teacher (if you are lucky and blessed enough to have one) to work with you and Shenpa.
The meditation classes at Life Path Healings can accelerate your growth, boost and support you in your Journey of Healing. We do practice Shenpa which is not what some might label “calling out”, harsh, or brutal “. Calling out “ is shaming and challenging and is typically defined as “making” someone be accountable for his/her “bad” behavior. People who only know hammer and nail, victim and predator will (at first) label Shenpa as “calling out”. Shenpa means detachment. This means no longer defining yourself as a victim or as an “I deserve it” person, Shenpa means you are no longer attached to calling your predatory behaviors “bad”. Now you can just look at them and decide if you still want to use them or make other choices. Practicing and living with Shenpa is fun (after you get used to it) and educational. You practice with your Self but typically you cannot do this alone because when you have lived with unconscious behaviors for so long, you can no longer see them, identify them. If you are lucky or blessed enough to have a practice with a Teacher and a community, Shenpa will also come from people who love you and who want to love you more. Shenpa comes from people you have given your permission to practice Shenpa with you because you trust them, their Path, their work and you want to work through your own growth with that community, friend, Teacher etc. You learn to laugh at your now unwanted behaviors (after all no one is perfect) as you learn new skills so you will have new choices than your old hurtful or abusive reactive behaviors. It is a blessing to have a Teacher and a community that is committed to your evolution and your growth who are willing to risk your potential backlash when they practice Shenpa with you and you with them.
If you haven’t read the Pema article mentioned at the top of this article, please read it. If this all makes you smile, makes your heart beat faster with anticipation, come to classes at Life Path Healings and book some private time with Dr. Marie and get your Shenpa on.
Journey On
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