"Meant to be"? I don't think so.

“Meant to be?”

I don’t think so. Whether you have decided you just met your twin flame soul mate, or your heart’s guru, if you are in a hormonal adrenaline rush you are reacting to a chemical high and that high can mean many things.  Actually, your “soul mate” or “guru” love rolls in like a sunrise, many sunrises.  The energy may be strong, but it will definitely be soft, gradual, filled with nuances that you could not even have imagined and therefore could not have “manifested”. It is a love that is revealed to you. Not an energy that traps you in a whirlwind high.  People who rush into the energy traps using “meant to be” as their mantra  then justify the often dramatic ending to these kind of relationships with some new age jargon without examining their own dysfunction, lessons learned, the hidden greed inside of them that caused the addictive response to the “rush” they called “meant to be”.

A rush of biochemical reactions means you just fell in love with yourself, your fantasy, your longings. Why?  Because you are in a body, on earth, 3 dimensional, and living out this life (for those of you who manage to stay in your body at least somewhat) and instant “love energy” whether it is or a friend, Teacher, or lover means you just fell in love with your imagination of who this person is.  You just fell in love with the idea that some empty hole in you is about to be “filled” (usually this idea is living in your unconsciousness). Fell being the appropriate word. As a human, meeting another human, only time reveals how this person is living his/her life path. You all come in with potential. You don’t all live to your full potential and even if you do, you cannot do that all the time. Every person has “flaws” as well as “gifts”, and is learning as well as being amazing and all human relationships are complex. Only time reveals the true person. Only time grows love as opposed to falling into love then climbing out of that whole and either re-balancing the relationship, or leaving it.  I can tell you that every single student that immediately decided I was “it” in terms of being a Teacher for them (at least for a while) left within a year and left angry. I didn’t change in that year and never was there an apparent reason for each student’s extreme disappointment. The disappointment was that I did not live up to their fantasy of who they “fell “in love with, in their imagination. You cannot be disappointed if you do not have expectations. They all fell in love with their expectations. Most expected to be “recognized” for their “amazing” “gifts”, others wanted to become a “special student” (whatever fantasy that was for each of them), some wanted to be launched into their (imagined) new age “career”.  Only a few (in decades of teaching) lasted through the transition from fantasy to reality. Most of the overly and instantly enthusiastic students left, believing they were angry with me, when in fact they were angry that their “dreams” did not come true.  Only the ones that stayed or came back were able to look inside and discover their fantasies, their longings, their magical thinking that I was “the one” that was somehow going to save them from their own lives.  And these over the top instant students were furious to discover faults because their fantasy expectations did not include this inventory. Some were thrilled to discover faults because that was part of their fantasy that they would be “shown” they were “better” than their Teacher and therefore are indeed….. amazing.

This description can be applied to instant “love” or sometimes friendships.  Having an emotional or energetic rush is not a bad thing. Just like feeling fear is not a bad thing. However making life decisions from that rush is not a good idea. For humans, emotions are not only a source of pleasure (one of the main reasons we incarnate) but they are always a source of learning. Feeling a rush is wonderful but you don’t live the majority of life your life from a “rush” (unless you are a meth addict or alcoholic or adrenaline junkie etc.—and then you pay for it all anyways).  Strong emotional or energetic connections always mean a lesson is coming. Why? Because most humans run away from their lessons so Spirit has to sugar coat the lessons so we will participate it. If it looks like love, or enlightenment, or a career, or a “gift”, or money you will run right into it. If it looks like learning boundaries, self-care, independence, inter-dependence, etc. most people run in the opposite direction.  Enjoy the rush, but don’t make any big decisions until the energy levels out. That way you will still learn your lessons but you will be able to be more centered, mindful, and therefore connected to Guidance.  The Guidance is always there for you. When you are overwhelmed by energies or emotions you go out of body and lose your connection to Spirit Guidance. It is fun, for sure, so have fun. But like sky diving, small adjustments mean big consequences.

Will you do this perfectly? Of course not, so when you mess up be sure to keep the focus on what you learned and do not put all your anger and disappointment on the other person, the one that was sent (by Spirit) to hook you in so you would participate in your lesson. Leave their lesson alone, stay in your lane and work on what Spirit sent you via your sugar coated chocolate brownie yum yum lesson. Yes get mad, vent, say all the mean things you need to say as that is all part of your learning. But ultimately own it. You went for the rush, and Spirit knew how much resistance you had and knew exactly how to set up this lesson for you by appealing to your desires, your secret greediness (to be amazing or recognized), your neediness (to be loved etc) in order to hook you up so you would participate in the lesson.

If you choose to participate in the discipline of having an actual Spiritual Practice  of meditation (and  more) you will find that your propensity of getting “trapped” or seduced by adrenaline highs and falling into creating narratives of “meant to be” will quickly subside. Instead as your Spiritual Center grows and grows strong through and actual practice you will choose self-aware Mindfulness over hormonal or ego based left brain highs.  Your energy field will no longer be seduced by ego stories or driven by “getting” what you “desire”.  You will be able to discern energy flows versus “triggers” that hook your lower body desires and your ego based goals. It is a gentle process whereby the old bad forces simply become obsolete because your Practice creates a new reality for you.

Until you take on a Spiritual Practice, you will have to rely on psychological tools to help you with discernment and boundaries which are good tools to learn and use in their own right. See if you can drop “meant to be” and simply look at “what is” and as you note what is, also say “we’ll see” regarding the future. Sounds easy, but without a Practice  you will be vulnerable to getting hooked into the fantasies and outcomes your Earth plane, left brain longs for.

Journey On.