I don't like my Spiritual Teacher
If you are lucky enough to even have a Spiritual Teacher, it is an unusual relationship. Nothing else is like it. Yes, the Teacher is a human, however the relationship is Spiritual, not a human one. Not when you are the chela. Some people love to say they "know" their Spiritual Teacher, or are close to
their Teacher as if that somehow is a badge to claim their progress
towards enlightenment. Nothing could be further from the truth, and in fact you can bet that is a sure sign of an overbearing ego.
Surely you all have learned things from amazing people yet you would not be want to be their friends. You might be eternally grateful for what you learned, yet still would not go to lunch with that person. And, if you chose to thank the person for what you learned, I suspect you would never tell the person, "you know, I don't really even like you, but I did learn something." Instead, you take the best from that person, and leave the rest. However, Spiritual Teachers can push your buttons so to speak (good to re-read: Needing the Love of a Spiritual Teacher) and many people find the need to act out on those buttons and inappropriately discuss their personal analysis with their Teacher. Notice I said discuss. That is being polite. Typically if you are delivering your brilliant analysis, unasked, to someone, anyone, it is offensive. Especially if you have never spent a moment asking questions of the person to learn more about him/her first, if s/he will even disclose more that what is deemed appropriate to a stranger. A Spiritual Teacher is also one person in public and another in private. Behind the scenes with any person whether famous like Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, or any Teacher be they mundane or magical is a significantly different experience than what you encounter publicly. If you do need to discuss some emotional problem that is getting in the way of your spiritual progress, that is is a totally different discussion. That discussion is you looking at you, and your reactions to a person or Teacher in order to learn about yourself, not to analyze the other (which is none of your business).
Spending your time analyzing your Teacher, creating a human psychological profile, I would say that if you feel the need to do that, perhaps you need to reconsider working with that Teacher and also consider if this is a red flag of self-avoidance. When studying with a professor, you might find yourself making some snide comments, or even comments of admiration regarding the professor as a person as opposed to an expert in a subject matter. In reality you know nothing of the real persona of your professor outside of the classroom. If you have the time to create a psychological profile of your professor, I would tell you that you are not devoting enough time to your studies, as you obviously have too much time on your hands. Einstein, Van Gogh, Picasso, in fact any famous person, really any person, is NOT the person you imagine him/her to be in your imagination. And what one does publicly, especially in a career of passion, often has little to do with the intimate and day to day interactions with such people. Even having lunch with famous people or anyone in the public eye, you will find that person still "on." It is only natural as a way to protect one's self with strangers, associate, students, or any one is not truly close too. If you imagine yourself to be "close" to your Teacher, professor, famous person, often that indeed is not true in their eyes.
If you "don't like" your Teacher, look to yourself first and see what you learn. Then if you still "don't like" your Teacher and that is a criteria for you to learn and evolve, it is time to leave. Spiritual Teachers, in fact all teachers are not here just to coddle. There is a balance between support and challenge, validation and questioning, feeling safe and being pushed out of your comfort zone. Your job is to decide if you "love" your Spiritual Teacher enough to trust it all, to trust it all. Your Spiritual Teacher loves your Soul, and because of that will not tolerate your Human nonsense knowing that you are bigger than that. Your Spiritual Teacher sees what you are not, and what you can and will become if you chose to purse your Higher Path. If you have enough time to analyze your Teacher, which is none of your business, I would say you have too much time on your hands and more meditation and self-contemplation is a good way, a Higher Way, to use your time.
Journey On
Surely you all have learned things from amazing people yet you would not be want to be their friends. You might be eternally grateful for what you learned, yet still would not go to lunch with that person. And, if you chose to thank the person for what you learned, I suspect you would never tell the person, "you know, I don't really even like you, but I did learn something." Instead, you take the best from that person, and leave the rest. However, Spiritual Teachers can push your buttons so to speak (good to re-read: Needing the Love of a Spiritual Teacher) and many people find the need to act out on those buttons and inappropriately discuss their personal analysis with their Teacher. Notice I said discuss. That is being polite. Typically if you are delivering your brilliant analysis, unasked, to someone, anyone, it is offensive. Especially if you have never spent a moment asking questions of the person to learn more about him/her first, if s/he will even disclose more that what is deemed appropriate to a stranger. A Spiritual Teacher is also one person in public and another in private. Behind the scenes with any person whether famous like Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, or any Teacher be they mundane or magical is a significantly different experience than what you encounter publicly. If you do need to discuss some emotional problem that is getting in the way of your spiritual progress, that is is a totally different discussion. That discussion is you looking at you, and your reactions to a person or Teacher in order to learn about yourself, not to analyze the other (which is none of your business).
Spending your time analyzing your Teacher, creating a human psychological profile, I would say that if you feel the need to do that, perhaps you need to reconsider working with that Teacher and also consider if this is a red flag of self-avoidance. When studying with a professor, you might find yourself making some snide comments, or even comments of admiration regarding the professor as a person as opposed to an expert in a subject matter. In reality you know nothing of the real persona of your professor outside of the classroom. If you have the time to create a psychological profile of your professor, I would tell you that you are not devoting enough time to your studies, as you obviously have too much time on your hands. Einstein, Van Gogh, Picasso, in fact any famous person, really any person, is NOT the person you imagine him/her to be in your imagination. And what one does publicly, especially in a career of passion, often has little to do with the intimate and day to day interactions with such people. Even having lunch with famous people or anyone in the public eye, you will find that person still "on." It is only natural as a way to protect one's self with strangers, associate, students, or any one is not truly close too. If you imagine yourself to be "close" to your Teacher, professor, famous person, often that indeed is not true in their eyes.
If you "don't like" your Teacher, look to yourself first and see what you learn. Then if you still "don't like" your Teacher and that is a criteria for you to learn and evolve, it is time to leave. Spiritual Teachers, in fact all teachers are not here just to coddle. There is a balance between support and challenge, validation and questioning, feeling safe and being pushed out of your comfort zone. Your job is to decide if you "love" your Spiritual Teacher enough to trust it all, to trust it all. Your Spiritual Teacher loves your Soul, and because of that will not tolerate your Human nonsense knowing that you are bigger than that. Your Spiritual Teacher sees what you are not, and what you can and will become if you chose to purse your Higher Path. If you have enough time to analyze your Teacher, which is none of your business, I would say you have too much time on your hands and more meditation and self-contemplation is a good way, a Higher Way, to use your time.
Journey On
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