Meditation makes me depressed ... really ?
Not dealing with issues makes us depressed. Suppressing our old hurts or fears can cause depression. What we do, typically, is (as we are taught in Industrialized Nations) to layer "fun" on top of the stinking swamp of our unaddressed wounds be they Soul wounds or childhood wounds or anything in between. This is like using air freshener rather than take out the garbage.
The pursuit of "fun" is the American drug of choice. Shopping, forcing one's self into "adventures", attending endless social events, over sexing, eating, or participating in yet another New Age "this is the solution to your life" workshop/seminar/retreat are some of the acceptable distractions people indulge in to keep oozing emotional wounds in check. Sadly, like untreated cancer, suppressed emotions do metastasize. The layers of distractions cause side effects to leak out and infect/affect all behaviors. Lying becomes second nature..... starting out as small white lies in order to fit in socially and growing as one begins to build an alternate reality, an alternate self called "I have made the best of it, I am good, I am happy" or what ever version one invents. When it gets really convoluted, people start to believe their own lies, to believe in their own invented construct of self.
There is no freedom in this path, only endless work to hold all the growing, loose, frayed ends together. Meditation is a healer, and like all natural approaches to healing it takes one to the roots of the cause so one can excavate the weeds rather than simply mow down growth that will keep coming back. The tapestry we constructed will be slowly untangled and disassembled and the new empty spaces are lovingly filled with a different kind of energetic focus. Rather than spending all of one's energy maintaining the construct, one now spends energy contacting and communing with one's Higher Self/Soul Energy and with Spiritual forces, guides, angels, nature beings, animal souls and more. Real fun begins to emerge because one can now actually enjoy what is happening in one's life rather than using events as a painkiller.
Relieving this pressure can feel like depression, but in reality it is letting steam out of the pressure cooker. When one has lived with that pressure for years, backing off from that can, at first, feel like one is dying, rather than actually regaining one's life force. Like lancing an infected wound, you are saving your life. Persist. The healing has begun and it will take you to a wondrous place.
The pursuit of "fun" is the American drug of choice. Shopping, forcing one's self into "adventures", attending endless social events, over sexing, eating, or participating in yet another New Age "this is the solution to your life" workshop/seminar/retreat are some of the acceptable distractions people indulge in to keep oozing emotional wounds in check. Sadly, like untreated cancer, suppressed emotions do metastasize. The layers of distractions cause side effects to leak out and infect/affect all behaviors. Lying becomes second nature..... starting out as small white lies in order to fit in socially and growing as one begins to build an alternate reality, an alternate self called "I have made the best of it, I am good, I am happy" or what ever version one invents. When it gets really convoluted, people start to believe their own lies, to believe in their own invented construct of self.
There is no freedom in this path, only endless work to hold all the growing, loose, frayed ends together. Meditation is a healer, and like all natural approaches to healing it takes one to the roots of the cause so one can excavate the weeds rather than simply mow down growth that will keep coming back. The tapestry we constructed will be slowly untangled and disassembled and the new empty spaces are lovingly filled with a different kind of energetic focus. Rather than spending all of one's energy maintaining the construct, one now spends energy contacting and communing with one's Higher Self/Soul Energy and with Spiritual forces, guides, angels, nature beings, animal souls and more. Real fun begins to emerge because one can now actually enjoy what is happening in one's life rather than using events as a painkiller.
Relieving this pressure can feel like depression, but in reality it is letting steam out of the pressure cooker. When one has lived with that pressure for years, backing off from that can, at first, feel like one is dying, rather than actually regaining one's life force. Like lancing an infected wound, you are saving your life. Persist. The healing has begun and it will take you to a wondrous place.
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