Nothing others do is because of you...... Really ? Spirit or Sociopath
I love the concept of the 4 agreements and the idea of not to take things personally. Taken out of context, and without the courage born out of a personal daily spiritual practice, this concept can help on develop the sociopathic values of not caring about any one other than one's self, rather than developing Spiritual Detachment.
I have often been recruited by Spirit to participate in someone else's lesson. And I love (not really) how people use this excuse to justify their actions...... that they they were simply used by Spirit in the situation, and it is not about them at all. It all happened as a lesson for the Other Person. Really ? I my self have stepped out of many lessons where I felt Spirit was going to "use" me to deliver a "lesson" to another person. When I stepped out, I always saw that Spirit happily replaced me with another player and the Other Person was still given his/her lesson.
If you stay and participate, then you were there to learn something as well. Too many excuse their own lacking, their own areas that need development by loftily (and lazily in my book) declaring I am "not taking it personally.....it is the other person's issue and it has nothing to to with me." At the extreme end, this is the precursor to full blown sociopathic behavior. I am not responsible for anything that happens with another person, I do not take it personally, it is all their issue. Yikes. So when DO you take it personally ? When it is convenient ? When you can look good, or be right? This attitude enhanced by the commercialization of superficial New Age spiritualism fits right into the millennium culture of entitlement and no responsibility. Well, it does so in my world anyways.
If you were there, if you were involved, you are partially responsible and there is something there for you to learn--- not just to analyze the other person's actions and excuse yourself as if you are an Archangel sent by Spirit to help another see something. Sometimes the latter is actually true, but you better be damn sure you were given a VERY CLEAR message about that as Master Ego is quite clever at feeding us stories we like to hear.
Let's say your spouse beats you. You are there. Your spouse would have beaten anyone s/he married... and that is the part you do not take personally. However YOU married him/her..... not someone else. So to me, the focus should be on your participation in an event (or events) that would have happened anyways, to someone else, yet you choose (even if not consciously-- perhaps karmically) to be the one beaten. There is your work--- don't take it personally, but why on earth did it happen to you specifically ? There is a Gift waiting for you -- personal and Spiritual growth-- if you have the courage to face your participation. Not with blame or shame, but with curiosity. Yes, I do not take it personally, however, I was there so what did I learn about ME (not about analyzing the other person-- always an easy way out.)
For a less dramatic example, let's say you have a friend and your friend gets in a bind. You do nothing (after all you do not take anything personally). Your friend feels betrayed and abandoned. Not your problem you say. You don't take it personally so not your issue. Again, Really ? What a lazy (if not down right unethical at times) approach to personal and Spiritual growth. Geez. The friend who feels betrayed, while not taking it personally, can look at the Spiritual lesson delivered. Why do I feel betrayed ? What assumptions did I make about the so-called friend instead of reading the fine print ? How do I choose friends ? Does my friend radar need adjustment ? Etc. The so-called betrayer, while not taking it personally also has some great questions to look at. Did I make false promises as a friend to build up my self image/ego ? Did I present myself as stronger or more loyal friend than I am capable of being? How can I be a better friend in the future? Perhaps I need to define what friendship really is. Etc. And wouldn't it be amazing to talk this all out instead of mouse-holing it into "Not my problem, I don't take it personally, Has nothing to do with me."
Sadly New Age and pop Psychology has created euphemisms for cowardly politically correct behaviors that stunt our growth both psychologically and Spiritually. For me, it makes for a rather lonely world......interacting with people whose primary path is to protect their ego rather than risk engagement. However, when I do meet one of those rare jewels, a true Traveler, we dance together in a world of depth and intricacies, with layers of meaning both personal and impersonal, earth and Spirit. We help each other evolve, grow and blossom by living through and sharing the friction that only comes through the commitment found in deep love and friendship. And like geodes in a rock tumbler, we rub the sharp points off of each other and bring out the shining jewel hidden in each of us, shine. And the Shine is beyond any mundane human encounter.
I have often been recruited by Spirit to participate in someone else's lesson. And I love (not really) how people use this excuse to justify their actions...... that they they were simply used by Spirit in the situation, and it is not about them at all. It all happened as a lesson for the Other Person. Really ? I my self have stepped out of many lessons where I felt Spirit was going to "use" me to deliver a "lesson" to another person. When I stepped out, I always saw that Spirit happily replaced me with another player and the Other Person was still given his/her lesson.
If you stay and participate, then you were there to learn something as well. Too many excuse their own lacking, their own areas that need development by loftily (and lazily in my book) declaring I am "not taking it personally.....it is the other person's issue and it has nothing to to with me." At the extreme end, this is the precursor to full blown sociopathic behavior. I am not responsible for anything that happens with another person, I do not take it personally, it is all their issue. Yikes. So when DO you take it personally ? When it is convenient ? When you can look good, or be right? This attitude enhanced by the commercialization of superficial New Age spiritualism fits right into the millennium culture of entitlement and no responsibility. Well, it does so in my world anyways.
If you were there, if you were involved, you are partially responsible and there is something there for you to learn--- not just to analyze the other person's actions and excuse yourself as if you are an Archangel sent by Spirit to help another see something. Sometimes the latter is actually true, but you better be damn sure you were given a VERY CLEAR message about that as Master Ego is quite clever at feeding us stories we like to hear.
Let's say your spouse beats you. You are there. Your spouse would have beaten anyone s/he married... and that is the part you do not take personally. However YOU married him/her..... not someone else. So to me, the focus should be on your participation in an event (or events) that would have happened anyways, to someone else, yet you choose (even if not consciously-- perhaps karmically) to be the one beaten. There is your work--- don't take it personally, but why on earth did it happen to you specifically ? There is a Gift waiting for you -- personal and Spiritual growth-- if you have the courage to face your participation. Not with blame or shame, but with curiosity. Yes, I do not take it personally, however, I was there so what did I learn about ME (not about analyzing the other person-- always an easy way out.)
For a less dramatic example, let's say you have a friend and your friend gets in a bind. You do nothing (after all you do not take anything personally). Your friend feels betrayed and abandoned. Not your problem you say. You don't take it personally so not your issue. Again, Really ? What a lazy (if not down right unethical at times) approach to personal and Spiritual growth. Geez. The friend who feels betrayed, while not taking it personally, can look at the Spiritual lesson delivered. Why do I feel betrayed ? What assumptions did I make about the so-called friend instead of reading the fine print ? How do I choose friends ? Does my friend radar need adjustment ? Etc. The so-called betrayer, while not taking it personally also has some great questions to look at. Did I make false promises as a friend to build up my self image/ego ? Did I present myself as stronger or more loyal friend than I am capable of being? How can I be a better friend in the future? Perhaps I need to define what friendship really is. Etc. And wouldn't it be amazing to talk this all out instead of mouse-holing it into "Not my problem, I don't take it personally, Has nothing to do with me."
Sadly New Age and pop Psychology has created euphemisms for cowardly politically correct behaviors that stunt our growth both psychologically and Spiritually. For me, it makes for a rather lonely world......interacting with people whose primary path is to protect their ego rather than risk engagement. However, when I do meet one of those rare jewels, a true Traveler, we dance together in a world of depth and intricacies, with layers of meaning both personal and impersonal, earth and Spirit. We help each other evolve, grow and blossom by living through and sharing the friction that only comes through the commitment found in deep love and friendship. And like geodes in a rock tumbler, we rub the sharp points off of each other and bring out the shining jewel hidden in each of us, shine. And the Shine is beyond any mundane human encounter.
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