Pain Magnet
As a Spiritual Teacher I write to share journeys of growth. There is so much emphasis on positive outlooks, sometimes it is hard to find material that talks about how to get through the darkness to the positive. Pema Chodron inspires me. She is transparent. She shares her stories and demystifies the path to enlightenment. Those stories have given me strength. I hope I can pay that forward.
As a Healer, many people have a radar to sense pain. I have a pre-birth in the womb memory of coming here (Earth) with a mission to wipe out pain. Empaths on this "mission" of eradicating pain, can actually become quite ill if they believe they can do this without the Guidance and Strength of Spirit. Working alone, without the protection of Spirit, there is the danger of having an out of wack ego, as if a mere person, a human, can or even should wipe out pain. And as if pain is not an important part of life on Earth. Apparently what at first looks like a noble mission really turns out to be a mission of teaching empaths and other self proclaimed healers to find balance in life while working out their pain magnet Karma. Perhaps this is a topic quite relevant to many people, people who care or perhaps work in care-taking professions, not just so-called new age healer types.
If you have the pain magnet radar "gift" you will have to learn how to have a healthy balanced response when you receive a transmission or perceive, that someone is in pain. The energy of pain travels across state lines, in fact it travels globally and inter-dimensionally. How do you respond when people in pain send a "need help" call to you (either by phone or energy)? As Healer and Teacher I consistently call the people who are working with me (students) when I get that transmission. That is part of my commitment as their Teacher. However, feeling the pain of so many others one has to learn to stay balanced. Do not make the mistake that these people are your friends.... they are needy, but not necessarily a friend. Healers attract people in pain. It is part of the gift. Needy folks will fall at your feet for help then will walk out of your life without so much as a backward glance once they are up and running. This is not malicious... it is their self preservation and people in pain are only concerned with one thing, getting out of pain. You need to be okay with that.....they were not your friends to begin with, and one cannot offer assistance to gain or form a friendship. Sometimes, people you help, once they get on their feet, will then turn around and attack you. Why ? Because you have seen sides of them no one else had ever seen, and now that they are feeling better, they have to kill you. They cannot live with having become so vulnerable to a person, particularly one not under their control. That can be hard to take. This does not happen so much when you have a formal healing relationship with someone, as that person has agreed to have you help them, has agreed to be vulnerable. If however you are responding to someone and there is no formal agreement on healing (meaning, lack of boundaries), you put yourself at risk. You can still proceed, but know the risks. If you reach out to help someone, without a clear discussion of boundaries, there is a good chance that there will be some pain in separation. A kind of back lash.
What complicates all of this for many (like myself) is that many healers have earth plane jobs that are helping jobs. Boundaries are absolutely necessary in earth plane encounters. For the majority of my life (starting at 17 with work..... but in evidence even in earlier years) I have worked in "helping " jobs; community organizer for the poorest of the poor, teacher for war refugees, professor for at risk student population (taking students to rape clinics, going to their parents to help with addictions, even an intervention with a professor drunk at work-- the list goes on). Working for a few years in the entertainment industry, I was given to the "worst and most difficult" producers because I was known for being able to handle any one and make things better. This leaked into my professor work. In addition to taking care of students, I protected colleagues and bosses,sometimes inappropriately helping them either because of my own bad judgement, or because of their insistence-- at gunpoint really -- and my inability to say "no." When pain magnet energies consume you at work, and you don't protect your self, you can count on workplace political back lash that can even lead to getting fired or set up to take blame for some workplace issue or accountability.
If in addition to working in a helping profession as your job, you are also a Spiritual you must also take into account Karma. You will need to deal with the the question of whether or not Karma is calling or you are being confronted with dysfunctional boundary issue, or some combination of both.
Over the decades (yes, decades of self aware work --I sometimes say I am Special Ed in Spiritual Growth) I painstakingly learned boundaries. The last (I can only pray they are the last) two cases were people I had known for decades. In hindsight, I realized they reached out to become "friends" with me only when their own lives had some major life crises going on. For decades we had been acquaintances, not friends. When they reached out for friendship, I was in a bad/sad place myself and I was thrilled to have some contact. Did my bad place harm my boundary radar ? Was it Karma ? I honestly don't know. I do know, I accepted the reach outs without examining or asking "why now"? (Or was I in deep denial and refused to even ask the question?) In both cases not only was I not treated as a dear friend to be cherished and protected, I was once again disposable when each person was "up and running " when their life became more enjoyable with perks. They never looked back. This time the pain was quite excruciating.
Both psychology and spiritual practices note that we humans don't change until we are in great pain. In alcoholism it is called bottoming out ...... the alcoholic has to bottom out (and everyone's bottom is different), to be in enough pain, to finally be able to risk making changes. Pain Magnet appears to be my alcoholism. In a sense I envy alcoholism; it means putting down the bottle. My alcoholism is more complex. How do I choose friends? How do I continue to balance my gift (and work) of being a psychic pain magnet and maintain self preservation and good boundaries ?
I am a work in progress. I fall back on the slogans of 12 step programs. One day at a time. We seek progress, not perfection. Ultimately this is about self love -- and not the trite nonsense we see on social media. Rather it is about truly understanding one's value, one's right to exist even if others are in pain. Soul issues are incredibly complex, kind of like a computer virus. There are corruptions in so many sections it is challenging to find and eradicate all infected sectors. Just when you think you have it all, another glitch appears. If you have ever seen the movie Women of the Dunes (brilliant and hard to watch) one understands the enormity of the task-- trying to see, get a handle on something that is inherent to one as one's own heartbeat. How often do we pay attention to our heartbeat? How can we hear if our own heartbeat is off ? The only good news I see (at the moment) out of all of this (other than this is one of the major themes I came here as a soul to heal and grow through) is that I am a master at helping others move into, through, and out the other side of dark matter. And, I am still alive. Namaste.
As a Healer, many people have a radar to sense pain. I have a pre-birth in the womb memory of coming here (Earth) with a mission to wipe out pain. Empaths on this "mission" of eradicating pain, can actually become quite ill if they believe they can do this without the Guidance and Strength of Spirit. Working alone, without the protection of Spirit, there is the danger of having an out of wack ego, as if a mere person, a human, can or even should wipe out pain. And as if pain is not an important part of life on Earth. Apparently what at first looks like a noble mission really turns out to be a mission of teaching empaths and other self proclaimed healers to find balance in life while working out their pain magnet Karma. Perhaps this is a topic quite relevant to many people, people who care or perhaps work in care-taking professions, not just so-called new age healer types.
If you have the pain magnet radar "gift" you will have to learn how to have a healthy balanced response when you receive a transmission or perceive, that someone is in pain. The energy of pain travels across state lines, in fact it travels globally and inter-dimensionally. How do you respond when people in pain send a "need help" call to you (either by phone or energy)? As Healer and Teacher I consistently call the people who are working with me (students) when I get that transmission. That is part of my commitment as their Teacher. However, feeling the pain of so many others one has to learn to stay balanced. Do not make the mistake that these people are your friends.... they are needy, but not necessarily a friend. Healers attract people in pain. It is part of the gift. Needy folks will fall at your feet for help then will walk out of your life without so much as a backward glance once they are up and running. This is not malicious... it is their self preservation and people in pain are only concerned with one thing, getting out of pain. You need to be okay with that.....they were not your friends to begin with, and one cannot offer assistance to gain or form a friendship. Sometimes, people you help, once they get on their feet, will then turn around and attack you. Why ? Because you have seen sides of them no one else had ever seen, and now that they are feeling better, they have to kill you. They cannot live with having become so vulnerable to a person, particularly one not under their control. That can be hard to take. This does not happen so much when you have a formal healing relationship with someone, as that person has agreed to have you help them, has agreed to be vulnerable. If however you are responding to someone and there is no formal agreement on healing (meaning, lack of boundaries), you put yourself at risk. You can still proceed, but know the risks. If you reach out to help someone, without a clear discussion of boundaries, there is a good chance that there will be some pain in separation. A kind of back lash.
What complicates all of this for many (like myself) is that many healers have earth plane jobs that are helping jobs. Boundaries are absolutely necessary in earth plane encounters. For the majority of my life (starting at 17 with work..... but in evidence even in earlier years) I have worked in "helping " jobs; community organizer for the poorest of the poor, teacher for war refugees, professor for at risk student population (taking students to rape clinics, going to their parents to help with addictions, even an intervention with a professor drunk at work-- the list goes on). Working for a few years in the entertainment industry, I was given to the "worst and most difficult" producers because I was known for being able to handle any one and make things better. This leaked into my professor work. In addition to taking care of students, I protected colleagues and bosses,sometimes inappropriately helping them either because of my own bad judgement, or because of their insistence-- at gunpoint really -- and my inability to say "no." When pain magnet energies consume you at work, and you don't protect your self, you can count on workplace political back lash that can even lead to getting fired or set up to take blame for some workplace issue or accountability.
If in addition to working in a helping profession as your job, you are also a Spiritual you must also take into account Karma. You will need to deal with the the question of whether or not Karma is calling or you are being confronted with dysfunctional boundary issue, or some combination of both.
Over the decades (yes, decades of self aware work --I sometimes say I am Special Ed in Spiritual Growth) I painstakingly learned boundaries. The last (I can only pray they are the last) two cases were people I had known for decades. In hindsight, I realized they reached out to become "friends" with me only when their own lives had some major life crises going on. For decades we had been acquaintances, not friends. When they reached out for friendship, I was in a bad/sad place myself and I was thrilled to have some contact. Did my bad place harm my boundary radar ? Was it Karma ? I honestly don't know. I do know, I accepted the reach outs without examining or asking "why now"? (Or was I in deep denial and refused to even ask the question?) In both cases not only was I not treated as a dear friend to be cherished and protected, I was once again disposable when each person was "up and running " when their life became more enjoyable with perks. They never looked back. This time the pain was quite excruciating.
Both psychology and spiritual practices note that we humans don't change until we are in great pain. In alcoholism it is called bottoming out ...... the alcoholic has to bottom out (and everyone's bottom is different), to be in enough pain, to finally be able to risk making changes. Pain Magnet appears to be my alcoholism. In a sense I envy alcoholism; it means putting down the bottle. My alcoholism is more complex. How do I choose friends? How do I continue to balance my gift (and work) of being a psychic pain magnet and maintain self preservation and good boundaries ?
I am a work in progress. I fall back on the slogans of 12 step programs. One day at a time. We seek progress, not perfection. Ultimately this is about self love -- and not the trite nonsense we see on social media. Rather it is about truly understanding one's value, one's right to exist even if others are in pain. Soul issues are incredibly complex, kind of like a computer virus. There are corruptions in so many sections it is challenging to find and eradicate all infected sectors. Just when you think you have it all, another glitch appears. If you have ever seen the movie Women of the Dunes (brilliant and hard to watch) one understands the enormity of the task-- trying to see, get a handle on something that is inherent to one as one's own heartbeat. How often do we pay attention to our heartbeat? How can we hear if our own heartbeat is off ? The only good news I see (at the moment) out of all of this (other than this is one of the major themes I came here as a soul to heal and grow through) is that I am a master at helping others move into, through, and out the other side of dark matter. And, I am still alive. Namaste.
Life ....
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