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Showing posts from September, 2015

Leaving.... the dangers of transference

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Studying with a Teacher. In the West people often "personalize" their Teacher. They want or need to be "friends" with their Teacher. Friendly is good, friend, not so much. Friends work hard to make each other feel good. Teachers, good ones, out of love and commitment to the expansion and growth of their students are willing to travel a rocky path to help a student move through an area in one's life that is blocked (addiction, obsession, incest, narcissism,denial, fears, old wounds, etc). This is especially true if we are discussing a Spiritual Teacher.  Spiritual growth often requires that one must crack open an old wound or a untie a knot .... and that can be a "this doesn't feel good" moment.  Students who try to make friends with their Teacher, expecting to trade a Teacher for a feel good friend, can suddenly feel betrayed when their "friend" stays true to his/her Guided role as a Spiritual Teacher.  Sadly this is when one typi

"I" Statements

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It is quite a common occurrence to hear people talk about experiences using the word "you" instead of "I".  Why is that ?  Many therapist types do not say "I" as the mainstream profession discourages too much disclosure, a protocol I abhor. I personally want to know who is trying to assist me. Is it some book educated youngster, or someone who has lived some life lessons close to my challenges?  I prefer the latter but it is hard to find out if your "therapist" ever struggled with drugs, poverty, sexual orientation, suicide, etc.  What a shame that this is the trend in psychology and other helping professions in this time period. In the days of tribal living, the Shaman or Medicine Woman lived in the village where one saw them, their behavior and their lifestyle on a daily basis. These days, we have no idea other than school transcripts as to who is claiming to be a therapist or some kind of New Age healer (often meaning one had the money to pay

Meditation makes me depressed ... really ?

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Not dealing with issues makes us depressed. Suppressing our old hurts or fears can cause depression. What we do, typically, is (as we are taught in Industrialized Nations) to layer "fun" on top of the stinking swamp of our unaddressed wounds be they Soul wounds or childhood wounds or anything in between. This is like using air freshener rather than take out the garbage. The pursuit of "fun" is the American drug of choice. Shopping, forcing one's self into "adventures", attending endless social events, over sexing,  eating, or participating in yet another New Age "this is the solution to your life" workshop/seminar/retreat are some of the acceptable distractions people indulge in to keep oozing emotional wounds in check.  Sadly, like untreated cancer, suppressed emotions do metastasize. The layers of distractions cause side effects to leak out and infect/affect all behaviors. Lying becomes second nature..... starting out as small white lies