The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
This title is a book by Marc Manson and the second book this month to make me very happy. (The first book being Why won’t you apologize by Harriet Lerner). The content is dead on for one (of many many) aspects of healing and moving forward in your life. It does not address deep healing, the depth of childhood issues, or energy, or past lives, or resolving conflicts etc etc. It does address some of the dysfunctional behaviors of the new age industry and self-esteem culture that are current in this era and that is both stimulating food for thought and also desperately needed viewpoints to balance out some of the ill effects of present day cultural trends. I hope you will take a read/listen and when you do, take the best, and leave the rest (as I always advise.)
On another completely different point, the style of writing is so straight forward and direct and blunt that it calmed me down because I live in an area of the country where that behavior is avoided and even despised and the author’s style is so much more direct than I think I am, I thought, ”well, now I know for sure I am not off the charts regarding being direct.” Ever since working in the Inland Empire I have had to adjust my cultural norm and then learning to be in business for myself instead of working for someone else’s pay check forced me change and adjust my natural tendencies of being direct or blunt. In part this was a polite cultural adjustment to a part of the country that does not believe in therapy or in fact self-educating in psychology as is common in big cities or wealthier neighborhoods and therefore the population is rather intolerant (to say it politely) of any behaviors that deviate from the norm of the majority population. Like many ingrown communities, fundamentalist conservative white (so-called) Christian communities do not welcome diversity. (Why this is so, is a long discussion, not addressed here.) Another part of my chosen changes was my desire to stay safe from backlash (emotional and physical) as well as to not lose business. When in Rome, do like the Romans.
In Chapter 8 of the book the author gives an excellent description of the cultural norms of Russian culture and his journey of not only learning to adapt to that culture when he was there but how he fell in love with the pleasant directness of discussion there even among strangers. Where speaking your true opinion, without antagonism or criticism, just like saying you don’t like bubble gum flavor ice cream, is expected, admired, and not seen as demeaning, criticizing, or threatening. I am second generation Russian. My mother was born here, raised by her Russian parents (my bubby and zaydeh) and I grew up exposed to four languages: Hebrew, Yiddish, Russian and English and three cultures. I am a Russian Jew, something I have hidden since working in the Inland Empire of California (as my parents’ friends used to tell me “You can pass” and sure enough they were right.) My mother was persecuted for being a union organizer (for the Teachers’ Union) making her a “Russian Jew commie.” My (now ex) brother in law is a Rabbi teaching biblical studies in the Vatican (another long story here). Here in the I.E. I consistently hear comments about “knowing” or meeting a Jew, and how cool that is and that Jews are cool and “I like Jews.” (“Some of my best friends are black.) My dearly loved handyman goes on and on about Jews, his mother re-married “one” and he doesn’t like “them”. That should tell you how little diversity there is in this area. I hid the fact that culturally I am a Russian Jew for 23 years because on the few occasions someone accidentally found out, I was attacked, ostracized and in some cases lost quite a bit of business because I was a JEW. If it is now time for you to leave Life Path Healings, I no longer care, in part thanks to this book I just read and in part for a number of other Spiritual circumstances and events occurring at this time on the planet and in the galaxy.
For those of you not familiar with the Jewish culture one really salient point is how Jews study their religion: they argue with the Rabbi about biblical scripture. You are questioned and challenged by the Rabbi which requires you to discover, articulate and defend and argue your own understandings of what you are reading. The Jewish religion never tells you what to think or believe. You are taught to respect authority, but also to question it and always find the Truth for yourself. The Rabbi challenges you to find your own understandings and beliefs and requires that you stand up for them and know why you choose to see it the way you do. Jews are taught to educate themselves their entire lives, to keep learning, questioning, and arguing until a truth is uncovered or discovered and until a problem is identified and solved (a key discussion point in this book is that happiness can only come from solving problems). In short, Jews are direct, blunt and see arguments as a pleasant and invigorating way to learn and get closer to people while learning. They will do this with complete strangers (as in Russia as well) and with friends and family. Only with people not liked will you find the conversation surface and avoidant.
Not only am I Russian and Jewish I grew up in NYC, and New Yorkers are notorious for their outspoken views and blunt conversations. People either love New Yorkers or hate them. The final piece of all of this is that in one astrology system I am a Sagittarius, and in the Vedic system I am a Scorpio. So no matter what system you use, this New York Russian Jew is also astrologically inclined to be direct, blunt, straight forward, incredibly educated (self as well as formal schooling), and very happy to have a stimulating animated discussion on almost any topic (what white people would call “argumentative”). Furthermore in my numerology chart I am challenged to not hide these traits. Work with them so they are in balance, yes. Try to pass as a pleasant Christian, not so much. Hate crimes in America still list high statistics against Jews and “coming out” in a hostile area is no joke. I survived my first “coming out” in this area even with the loss of 8 year old “friendships” when I went public with my work as a clairvoyant etc. which many in this area perceive to be “the devil’s work”. I think I will now survive this second coming out party.
Reading this book, I actually I listened to it from a library borrow, was like being with my family. I almost started to cry. It was so comforting to “hear” someone talk like this as it is the atmosphere and culture I grew up in, and when I am around family, New Yorkers, many Europeans and other cultures such as Russians, Armenians, Arabs, Italians and more from other parts of the world, this is how we talk and relate to each other. But if you do not live with diversity, it is not something you will be familiar with or even aware of as something to learn. The actual content of this book is funny, irreverent, timely and thought provoking as the author explores the themes of the pursuit of happiness, and the effects of entitlement and victim-hood and the power of problem solving instead of getting stuck in wallowing in your stuck points. And we all have stuck points, it is a part of life.
This title is a book by Marc Manson and the second book this month to make me very happy. (The first book being Why won’t you apologize by Harriet Lerner). The content is dead on for one (of many many) aspects of healing and moving forward in your life. It does not address deep healing, the depth of childhood issues, or energy, or past lives, or resolving conflicts etc etc. It does address some of the dysfunctional behaviors of the new age industry and self-esteem culture that are current in this era and that is both stimulating food for thought and also desperately needed viewpoints to balance out some of the ill effects of present day cultural trends. I hope you will take a read/listen and when you do, take the best, and leave the rest (as I always advise.)
On another completely different point, the style of writing is so straight forward and direct and blunt that it calmed me down because I live in an area of the country where that behavior is avoided and even despised and the author’s style is so much more direct than I think I am, I thought, ”well, now I know for sure I am not off the charts regarding being direct.” Ever since working in the Inland Empire I have had to adjust my cultural norm and then learning to be in business for myself instead of working for someone else’s pay check forced me change and adjust my natural tendencies of being direct or blunt. In part this was a polite cultural adjustment to a part of the country that does not believe in therapy or in fact self-educating in psychology as is common in big cities or wealthier neighborhoods and therefore the population is rather intolerant (to say it politely) of any behaviors that deviate from the norm of the majority population. Like many ingrown communities, fundamentalist conservative white (so-called) Christian communities do not welcome diversity. (Why this is so, is a long discussion, not addressed here.) Another part of my chosen changes was my desire to stay safe from backlash (emotional and physical) as well as to not lose business. When in Rome, do like the Romans.
In Chapter 8 of the book the author gives an excellent description of the cultural norms of Russian culture and his journey of not only learning to adapt to that culture when he was there but how he fell in love with the pleasant directness of discussion there even among strangers. Where speaking your true opinion, without antagonism or criticism, just like saying you don’t like bubble gum flavor ice cream, is expected, admired, and not seen as demeaning, criticizing, or threatening. I am second generation Russian. My mother was born here, raised by her Russian parents (my bubby and zaydeh) and I grew up exposed to four languages: Hebrew, Yiddish, Russian and English and three cultures. I am a Russian Jew, something I have hidden since working in the Inland Empire of California (as my parents’ friends used to tell me “You can pass” and sure enough they were right.) My mother was persecuted for being a union organizer (for the Teachers’ Union) making her a “Russian Jew commie.” My (now ex) brother in law is a Rabbi teaching biblical studies in the Vatican (another long story here). Here in the I.E. I consistently hear comments about “knowing” or meeting a Jew, and how cool that is and that Jews are cool and “I like Jews.” (“Some of my best friends are black.) My dearly loved handyman goes on and on about Jews, his mother re-married “one” and he doesn’t like “them”. That should tell you how little diversity there is in this area. I hid the fact that culturally I am a Russian Jew for 23 years because on the few occasions someone accidentally found out, I was attacked, ostracized and in some cases lost quite a bit of business because I was a JEW. If it is now time for you to leave Life Path Healings, I no longer care, in part thanks to this book I just read and in part for a number of other Spiritual circumstances and events occurring at this time on the planet and in the galaxy.
For those of you not familiar with the Jewish culture one really salient point is how Jews study their religion: they argue with the Rabbi about biblical scripture. You are questioned and challenged by the Rabbi which requires you to discover, articulate and defend and argue your own understandings of what you are reading. The Jewish religion never tells you what to think or believe. You are taught to respect authority, but also to question it and always find the Truth for yourself. The Rabbi challenges you to find your own understandings and beliefs and requires that you stand up for them and know why you choose to see it the way you do. Jews are taught to educate themselves their entire lives, to keep learning, questioning, and arguing until a truth is uncovered or discovered and until a problem is identified and solved (a key discussion point in this book is that happiness can only come from solving problems). In short, Jews are direct, blunt and see arguments as a pleasant and invigorating way to learn and get closer to people while learning. They will do this with complete strangers (as in Russia as well) and with friends and family. Only with people not liked will you find the conversation surface and avoidant.
Not only am I Russian and Jewish I grew up in NYC, and New Yorkers are notorious for their outspoken views and blunt conversations. People either love New Yorkers or hate them. The final piece of all of this is that in one astrology system I am a Sagittarius, and in the Vedic system I am a Scorpio. So no matter what system you use, this New York Russian Jew is also astrologically inclined to be direct, blunt, straight forward, incredibly educated (self as well as formal schooling), and very happy to have a stimulating animated discussion on almost any topic (what white people would call “argumentative”). Furthermore in my numerology chart I am challenged to not hide these traits. Work with them so they are in balance, yes. Try to pass as a pleasant Christian, not so much. Hate crimes in America still list high statistics against Jews and “coming out” in a hostile area is no joke. I survived my first “coming out” in this area even with the loss of 8 year old “friendships” when I went public with my work as a clairvoyant etc. which many in this area perceive to be “the devil’s work”. I think I will now survive this second coming out party.
Reading this book, I actually I listened to it from a library borrow, was like being with my family. I almost started to cry. It was so comforting to “hear” someone talk like this as it is the atmosphere and culture I grew up in, and when I am around family, New Yorkers, many Europeans and other cultures such as Russians, Armenians, Arabs, Italians and more from other parts of the world, this is how we talk and relate to each other. But if you do not live with diversity, it is not something you will be familiar with or even aware of as something to learn. The actual content of this book is funny, irreverent, timely and thought provoking as the author explores the themes of the pursuit of happiness, and the effects of entitlement and victim-hood and the power of problem solving instead of getting stuck in wallowing in your stuck points. And we all have stuck points, it is a part of life.
I highly recommend reading or listening to this book for content..... and for style if you wish to have a deeper understanding of the cultural aspects of someone very different than you. I do not agree with everything in the book, so as usual I always recommend “take the best and leave the rest.”
Shalom.
Journey On
Dr. Marie Feuer
Life Path Healings on FB & IG
MarieFeuer.Org
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