How do you know you are getting "better"?

 How do you know you are “getting better”?

Industrialized culture is obsessed with “receiving,” “getting,” more, better, validations. A giant maw, an endless pit, a vacuum of neediness that can never be filled but which does fill the need of occupying one’s mind, demanding endless attention, endless shopping, and keeping one from feeling feelings, or connecting with Spirit. On social media you never seek people celebrating one’s depression, or grief, even though these are typically pre-cursors to some enormous leap in one’s Spiritual and emotional evolution. In fact, social media mavens typically downplay or even hide any occurrences that might blemish their carefully constructed public image of being open and transparent. In the beginning of writing these articles I used to use “I” instead of “you” or “one’s” with the idea (as per 12-step programs) of sharing one’s experience, strength and hope. I had to stop because I kept receiving a barrage of “let me help you”  “I can save you” responses from raging co-dependents who were so addicted to “helping” even when it is none of their business, as to think that I was putting out on social media a desperate cry for a rescue and was willing to accept anyone, including some unqualified anonymous person’s advice. That was a shock and sadly funny. Who would go on social media with their darkest secrets as a way of seeking help (especially someone with a doctorate in health psychology)? An even bigger question is who would imagine that is why someone posted an article.  But there it was.  So we have a majority culture that hides whatever is considered “negative” or rushes in (inappropriately and without asking or without seeking permission) to “rescue” anyone who appears to be having any experience that might be considered “negative.”

The majority culture, including the current “yoga” culture, new age-ers, Christians, Buddhists, etc. have an obsession with getting better and being better. And their definition of “better” is ever changing. What it does say, and mean, is where you are right now is not okay, and it will soon be over and that will be proof that you are “getting better” and that whatever so-called practice you are doing (prayer, meditation, etc.) is “working.” What this also does on a more insidious level is teach you to not accept the present and to focus on the future, on getting out of whatever it is you are currently in that you don’t like, want or approve of. Also meaning that Spirit has screwed up by allowing you to be in this current situation and you need to either get yourself out, or get on Spirit’s back and tell Spirit to do its job with you, and to do it “better”  by getting you out of your current situation and into a “better” one. No wonder people are so exhausted. It is not easy running the world, or at least your world.

When we are in nature (if you are paying attention) you see that life is every changing. Ants are building while cleaning up carnage. The wind comes and goes, plants follow the sun, birds argue, squirrels steal. All of this life and it is all of life. It is poetic, engaging and endlessly changing. In fact, changing so rapidly all the time there are no moments to analyze, or judge as good or bad, better or worse. One cannot even put what you are observing and experiencing into any context. The flow is so substantial, so perfect, all you can do is stay in the now and absorb all the beauty of the moments, wonder at the apparent contradictions and bow to the paradoxes that occur to keep the chi of Life flowing. Chi, life energy, only flows with polarity, opposites, a negative and positive pole; paradox, contradiction, positive/negative, up/down, forward/backward, are all the flow. When we are in the flow it is all amazing. When you try to observe the flow from a human perspective instead of a soul perspective, that is when you have removed yourself from the process, from your chi, from your life. Now you are interfering in the experiences, in your experiences, trying to analyze, assign good and bad, working hard to “get better.”

So how do you know when you are “getting better”?  Students want to know. Some teachers want to know.  You know you are “getting better” when you no longer care about getting better.  You become so engaged with your life, all of it, hour by hour, minute by minute, that you have no time, no desire to analyze or measure how you think you are doing. And your prayers to Spirit no longer “boss” Spirit around, entreating Spirit to get you out of some situation, or fix your life or fix you. Your prayers are mainly that of  “thank you” and “let me be of service.”  One cannot be of service if you are busy judging you or your life as good or bad. By the way, my concept of being of service is to be Spirit’s “salt.” When a little bit of “you” is needed somewhere, Spirit can place you with someone, or place you somewhere your energy can help the Divine process. So much for getting puffed up about being a savior of the world.

You don’t even have to give up the notion of getting better. The more engaged you become with the nature of your life, your own chi, life force, and how it is flowing you simply forget to worry about or think about negative and positive, or “getting out” of some situation or emotion. Like a child watching an ant farm, you are fully present and amazed at all you are experiencing.  Is this 100% ? No. Will it every be 100%? No. Not when in a human body. In fact, this existential engagement typically creeps up on one and can take some focus to notice how much you have grown. It almost does not feel like growth, it simply feels like Home. And it is home, home with you, your life, all of it. And at peace with Spirit going beyond trust to a divine Knowing that all of it, the entire flow, moment to moment is with you and you with it.  This is why we cultivate. This is why we have a divine Spiritual Practice. To come Home, to be at home, to Be.

Journey On.