Now that you are Spiritual, are you happy? Living life whole

Jack Kornfield has a great book title….. after the ecstasy, the laundry.  Becoming an authentic person, becoming whole, is the Journey. Ecstasy is only one part. In some ways discovering all your faults or even your self-loathing is more exciting and engaging than being “okay.”  Discovery and recovery can be captivating and motivating even with the pain or despair that often accompanies that part of the journey. Many people take on the journey of healing from a rough childhood, from trauma, from extreme povery and/or racism, from war or even natural catastrophes. But then find themselves a bit lost when learning how to live with recovery! Sometimes your support system or community disappears once you are up and running. 

Recovery is often when people relapse back into old habits because it is so challenging to live life without your wounded self dominating all of your choices. Physiologically even your nervous system and brain chemisty will need time to transition as you learn to function without fear, anxiety, grief, or rage dominating your life choices. If you have rarely or never experienced feeling safe, stable, accepted, being loved for who you are, trusting life, trusting yourself and your choices, your whole body, your nervous system has to evolve. This takes time, and practice. There are no shortcuts to this (despite the marketing claims of most new age influencers.)

Living life, at least somewhat whole, can be a challenge especially if you grew up in a dysfunctional family and even more especially if you have chosen to live an awakened life and not fill yourself up with distractions of modern day life (social media, gaming, drugs, alcohol, prescription meds, gummies, over use of psychedelics, etc.)  Living life as a conscious being invested in your own development and evolution is not for everyone and our mainstream culture does not support consciousness. It supports consumerism as a way to check out, to use externals as a way to self-soothe. if external solutions worked, the rich and famous would not struggle with mental health issues, but they do!  

Many people believe having a spiritual "purpose," "gift,"  or material prosperity and abundance will solve most of your problems and keep you happy. Movie stars, millionaires, "influencers" and new age big business personalities have "purpose" and money, yet there are still suicides and divorces and other indicators of not such a happy life happening among those communities. Organized religions as well and the unregulated new age billion dollar industry (which I believe to also be organized religion) create the pressure for people to "present" themselves as special and especially "good" people,  or to claim to have special gifts and connections to the spirit world all the while their life is empty, perhaps even corrupt, projecting images of success while living a life of  lonliness, empty choices, low self-esteem. and often criminal behaviors (embezzelment, pedophilia, etc.) Perhaps they have an addict child or an empty marriage or they are rage-aholics or peddle a healthy life-style as part of their "brand" but are really fast food addicts.  The pressure to appear successful (to yourself as well as others) is a powerful dopamine hit and much time and energy is given to managing one’s psyche and image projection on social media. This societal pressure is a huge obstacle for people taking the first steps towards a healing journey, towards leaving the lies behind and beginning to live an awakened life. 

Living an awakened life is not for everyone. Living an awakened life while having to earn a living, pay bills, raise children, have relationships, with no tribal structure is a much bigger challenge for modern humans. It is a choice that is definitely more complicated than being numbed out with overeating, medications, shopaholic, sex addict, sugar addict, well, the list is endless. When we were tribal, hunter gatherers, life  was simpler. You had to be awakened, mindful, and present. Spirit and spiritual practices were your "internet" that kept you connected to each other (astral travel, telepathy etc), to information (weather reports, where to hunt etc.), wisdon and learning (which herbs to use and when, and so much more). You learned to connect to Spirit and to each other or you starved or died. Every village had practicing shamans and medicine people. Indigenous healers were choosen by spiritual signs, not by individuals declaring themselves to  have a "gift" and who strive to be influencers with the goals of making money and collecting "likes."  

How do you “build a career” or save for a car if you are always living in the moment? You do the footwork and let go of the results (as is said in 12-step meetings.) Make a plan, and then take the steps. And because you made the choice to go after those results there will be some fun in the work you chose to do. But, don’t over focus on the outcome.  See what comes and find a balance between your desires and Guidance. Sometimes what we want really isn't what is best for our higher Self.  The  practice is to enjoy the journey which is so easily said, but not so easily done. Letting go of the outcome means you will accept Guidance as you journey. Like a child wandering in the toy store, the parent does not stop the child but rather guides, so does Spirit do with us, if we are mindful enough to pay attention. Wondering and wandering is part of the path of learning. Our wonder will lead us where we need to go. Staying present, using acceptance and surrender will allow us to receive Guidance. This is the practice of a spritual path.

Living an awakened life allows us to find moments of humor and joy. It also means establishing new habits, how to stay present instead of distracted. One simple practicce is "the pause." Pausing throughout the day. is a mindfulness practice, short, sweet, and powerful. Pausing allows you to check if you are  present in your life, in the moment. Being present allows you to receive Guidance just like putting down your phone allows you to be present in the moment, in your life. It is a simple new habit that has powerful effects.

New habits will change your life. Changing your diet, how you exercise, learning to check in instead of checking out, these are the bricks and stones that build the house you call your life. It is the little things that make all the big things work out. It is not Spirit's job to take care of your day to day life choices. Spirit wants participation, not sheep. Your evolution and growth is your job. Your ability and willingness to connect and "listen" to the guidance offered by Spirit is your challenge, your purpose.  Spirit can Guide, but cannot make you enjoy, or feel happy. Putting new insights into practice means creating new habits, new behaviors. New habits always take discipline and practice (and work) to put into place, but then, like all habits, they become effortless.

• Wake up every morning and do something that matters and that makes you want to live. For one person it might mean going for a jog at sunrise. For another yoga, or meditation, prayer, petting your cat, kissing someone, reading something spiritual. Find what it is for YOU that makes you smile, first thing in the morning. If you don’t know, experiment. Then make it into a habit. 
• Don’t over schedule your day. Allow for moments of pausing, breathing, remembering why you are alive… it is not for a paycheck that is for sure.
• Try adding a mindfulness app to your phone to remind you to stop, center, breathe, smile, and remember your life.  Accept, surrender, enjoy, the moment, then on to the next. This is what children and animals do.  No matter the how hard life can ge, it will not last forever. Nothing does. Children and animals get angry. They don’t judge it, they just do. It is part of life and what makes life amazing is contrasts and textures, not sameness. Experience it as a moment of learning. Then choose a moment of mindfulness, three breaths. Getting present allows room for miracles to appear because you are open to what is next rather than trying to control outcomes.
• At the end of every day spend a few minutes going over your day. Note what you could have done better, or differently. Try writing this out. 12-Step programs call this taking daily inventory. Then write down what worked during each day. This is not toxic positivity. It is to create a new habit (and new neural pathways) that strengthen your ability to notice what is working even when life isn't "perfect." 
• Thank you's. Make a list. You don’t have to force yourself to feel grateful. Give thanks for the lessons and learnings as well as the blessings. You can even give “sarcastic” thanks. Thank you means that even if you don't “feel” great about what is happening, you are still welcoming all that Spirit gives you including the challenges that are making you grow, the Guidance given even if you don’t like it. All of this is the Journey, the complex ever changing tapestry of life, the life experiences you volunteered to have as part of your eternal soul evolution.

Your fate and destiny will come and get you. You designed this life before you came here, with your free will and with Guidance. Your job is not to try and control the ocean, that is Spirit. but rather to steer the ship the best you can given the conditions on the ocean and the conditions of the weather. Your job, your work in this incarnation now is to make the best possible choices in all conditions including adverse conditions, to keep honoring your Self with excellent self care during this Journey, to keep yourself in the best possible shape, to meet and welcome your fate and destiny with grace and dignity, to learn to have compassion for your Self (and others) when you trip and fall, to have the courage to make corrections as you learn

When you learn something isn't working or you feel you could make better choices, try to put  a new habit into place. A new habit means new behavior, not a new narrative, new talk. This means you will have to take a few moments throughout your day to tune in to you, your life, this moment, and make more conscious choices. Learning to pause will create the habit of you learning to listen to Spirit on a more regular basis throughout your day. Spirit can be your daily partner in navigating your day to day life choices. Or, you can try to do it by yourself, without intuition, or Guidance from the teachings of  the Divine. 

Your job in each life is to fully participate in the journey you signed up for, and to enjoy all of the learnings as well as the  pleasures. After all you did not design this life to punish yourself, even if you feels that way sometimes. You designed this life to learn and have fun, so do both fully. Life is meant to be challenging and stress is a natural part of life so enjoy healthy stress, and the fun times, and the quiet times. It is all weather.

When you do not take good care of yourself you will find yourself becoming self-centered in an unhealthy even narcissistic fashion. “I deserve it” is the cry of someone who has neglected his/her self and now feels s/he is “owed.” Self-indulgence, addictions, and many other unhealthy behaviors are often the result of people refusing to take mature, responsible care of the Self.  When you take responsible, mature, and playful care of you, your psyche, your emotions, your body, your physical life responsibilities, Spirit can better Guide you on your bigger Path because with better self-care, you can be more present, to listen, grow and to give. 

You will learn to enjoy all aspects of your life more, and you will be better balanced to give more to give others, to be of service, to be a better person to earth, and to all living beings.

Journey On