Now that you are Spiritual, are you happy? Living life whole

Jack Kornfield has a great book title….. after the ecstasy, the laundry.  Becomint an authentic person, becoming whole, is the Journey. Ecstasy is only one part. In some ways discovering all your faults or even your self-loathing is more exciting and engaging than being “okay.”  Discovery and recovery can be captivating and motivating even with the pain or despair that often accompanies that part of the journey. 

Living life, at least somewhat whole, that can be a challenge especially if you grew up in a dysfunctional family and even more especially if you have chosen to live an awakened life and not fill yourself up with distractions of modern day life (social media, gaming, drugs, alcohol, prescription meds that aren’t yours, psychedelics, etc etc etc).  Like the field of psychology, many wounded people are drawn to spirituality (more so even to the commercial New Age industry). In psychology, most people are not expecting to be “cured” but rather are hoping to get some relief from emotional pain and perhaps to be more functional in life.  With spirituality however, many expect to “meet their Guide” or find their “purpose” and from there have an “amazing” inspired life, thanks in part to the hype of the New Age industry. If only…..

Living life healed, whole. How does one do this?  Even the rich and famous have this question. What to do between movies, or parties?  Having a so-called purpose or a clearly defined Guide does not take care of your day to day living. Movie stars and millionaires have purpose and yet there are still suicides and divorces and other indicators of not such a happy life happening among those communities. Many New Age professionals or wanna-be’s, with their Guides in hand (or so they claim), are living a lie. That’s right, a lie, not a life, projecting an image of success while unable to have an orgasm, or earn a living as a “healer” or some other New Age title (yet claiming they have a gift or have been chosen), or having an addict child or an empty marriage.  Many “shrinks” fit into this description as well. The pressure to appear successful (to yourself as well as others) is powerful and much time and energy is given to managing one’s psyche and image projection on social media.

Living an awakened life is definitely more complicated than being numbed out with overeating, medications, shopaholic, sex addict, sugar addict, well, the list is endless. When we were tribal, hunter gatherers, life  was simpler. You had to be awakened, mindful, present, or you died, or starved. This is in part why so many awakened people love animals. Animals are present (unless they have become ruined pets of neurotic owners). They let their emotions flow easily from moment to moment. They are masters of play and humor. Children offer us the same model (unless from an abused family) of living moment to moment, full of wonder, fully participating, embracing all emotions. Living this way while going to work, paying bills, raising children, trying to have relationships with no tribal structure is a much bigger challenge for modern humans.

How do you “build a career” or save for a car if you are always living in the moment? Do the footwork and let go of the results (as is said in 12-step meetings). Make a plan, and then take the steps. And because you made the choice to go after those results there will be some fun in the work you chose to do. But, don’t over focus on the outcome.  See what comes and find a balance between your desires and Guidance. Sometimes what we want really isn't what is best for our higher Self.  The  practice is to enjoy the journey which is so easily said, but not so easily done. Letting go of the outcome means you will accept Guidance as you journey. Like a child wandering in the toy store, the parent does not stop the child but rather guides, so does Spirit do with us, if we are mindful enough to pay attention. Wondering and wandering is part of the path of learning. Our wonder will lead us where we need to go. Staying present, using acceptance and surrender will allow us to receive Guidance. This is the practice of a spritual path.

Living an awakened life allows us to find moments of humor and joy. It also means establishing new habits, how to stay present instead of distracted. One simple practicce is "the pause." Pausing throughout the day. is a mindfulness practice, short, sweet, and powerful. Pausing allows you to check if you are  present in your life, in the moment. Being present allows you to receive Guidance just like putting down your phone allows you to be present in the moment, in your life. It is a simple new habit that has powerful effects.

New habits will change your life. Changing your diet, how you exercise, learning to check in instead of checking out, these are the bricks and stones that build the house you call your life. It is the little things that make all the big things work out. Spirit cannot take care of your day to day life choices. Spirit can Guide, but cannot make you enjoy, or feel happy. New habits always take discipline and practice (and work) to put into place, but then, like all habits, they become effortless.

• Wake up every morning and do something that matters and that makes you want to live. For one person it might mean going for a jog at sunrise. For another yoga, or meditation, prayer, petting your cat, kissing someone, reading something spiritual. Find what it is for YOU that makes you smile, first thing in the morning. If you don’t know, experiment. Then make it into a habit. 
• Don’t over schedule your day. Allow for moments of pausing, breathing, remembering why you are alive… it is not for a paycheck that is for sure.
• Add a mindfulness app to your phone to remind you to stop, center, breathe, smile, and remember your life.  Accept, surrender, enjoy, then on to next. This is what children and animals do, even if you are angry or depressed. You can enjoy it for the moment. It will not last forever. Nothing does. Children and animals get angry. They don’t judge it, they just do. It is part of life and what makes life amazing is contrasts and textures, not sameness. A moment of mindfulness, three breaths , allows room for miracles to appear because you are not engulfed in expectations or predictions or trying to control outcomes.
• At the end of every day spend a few minutes going over your day. Note what you could have done better, or differently. And give thanks. Make a list. You don’t have to force yourself to feel grateful. Give thanks for the lessons and learnings as well as the blessings. You can even give “sarcastic” thanks. Thank you means that even if you don't “feel” great about what is happening, you are still welcoming it all… the challenges that are making you grow, the Guidance given even if you don’t like it.  The complex ever changing tapestry of life. Yum.

Your fate and destiny will come and get you. You designed this life before you came here, with your free will and with Guidance. Your job is not to try and control the ocean, that is Spirit. but rather to steer the ship the best you can given the conditions on the ocean and the conditions of the weather. Your job now is to be in the best possible place, the best possible shape, to meet and welcome your fate and destiny. 

Try to put into place the new habit to take a few moments throughout your day to tune in to you, your life, this moment, and listen to Spirit. Spirit is your Guide to  navigate your ship on your journey. Or, you can try to do it by yourself, without intuition, or Guidance from the teachings of  the Divine. 

Your job in each life is to fully participate in the journey you signed up for, and to enjoy all of the learnings as well as the  pleasures. After all you did not design this life to punish yourself, even if you feels that way sometimes. You designed this life to learn and have fun, so do both fully. Life is meant to be challenging and stress is a natural part of life so enjoy healthy stress, and the fun times, and the quiet times. It is all weather.

When you do not take good care of yourself you will find yourself becoming self-centered in an unhealthy even narcissistic fashion. “I deserve it” is the cry of someone who has neglected his/her self and now feels s/he is “owed.” Self-indulgence, addictions, and many other unhealthy behaviors are often the result of people refusing to take mature, responsible care of the Self.  When you take responsible, mature, and playful care of you, your psyche, your emotions, your body, your physical life responsibilities, Spirit can better Guide you on your bigger Path because with better self-care, you can be more present, to listen, grow and to give. 

You will learn to enjoy all aspects of your life more, and you will be better balanced to give more to give others, to be of service, to be a better person to earth, and to all living beings.

Journey On