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Showing posts from March, 2019

The Art of Arguing

The Art of Arguing In many cultures, arguing is a form of affection. Middle Eastern, Armenian, Italian, etc. will treat you with cold un-engaged politeness if you are a stranger of no concern. If you are “family”, someone loved and cherished, you will be engaged in arguments followed by respect and often hugs. For those of you who have never traveled, been around diversity, or studied sociology and/or social psychology this is probably a foreign concept. Arguing even when it is not part of the culture and enjoyed, is actually a natural part of life and healthy intimate relationships, even animals argue and bicker. Dysfunctional families keep secrets and there are no arguments, only the silence of keeping secrets until that builds up to rage. Instead of healthy arguments, using rage and the fear (and violence) that rage creates, ensures that the secrets will continue to be kept. There are many wonderful books on how to have healthy arguments with no rage, no fear and no below th

Living a Passionate Life : Being a Secret Agent

Living a Passionate Life: Being a Secret Agent The artists I know ARE artists. They draw, paint, sculpt, act, write, dance, choreograph, throw pots, weave, carve, design, build etc. etc. etc.   in their everyday life. They do these things because it is in their blood, their heart, their soul. They make the time to do their art every day and choose that over   drinking, partying, eating, shopping. They do their art whether or not they make a living at it, whether or not they receive recognition for their art. They self-educate, and practice, practice, practice. I have never heard an artist proclaim they had a “gift” and demand recognition. I have never heard an artist say they had a gift or talent, and not practice and yet expect to make a living from some so-called gift that they decided and announced came from God or Spirit. I have only seen this (over and over again) in the new age industry, people wanting to be “told” what their “gift” is.   If you don’t know, do you really

Incongruence

Incongruence Incongruence is a humanistic psychology concept developed by Carl Rogers which suggests that unpleasant feelings can result from a discrepancy between our perceived and ideal self. The perceived self is how an individual views themselves and the ideal self is how an individual wishes they were.   Carl Rogers believed that for a person to achieve self-actualization they must be in a state of congruence. This means that self-actualization occurs when a person's “ideal self” (i.e., who they would like to be) is congruent with their actual behavior (self-image). The goal of therapy from the humanistic orientation is to allow the client to achieve congruence in term of his real self and his ideal self. This means that what a person is and what he wants to be should become the same as therapy progresses. Self-esteem that is achieved in therapy will allow the client to elevate his sense of what he is, and self-esteem will also lessen his need to be better than what h

Depression

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Depression This is one of the most “scorned” emotions to have in the USA especially. Why, one has to wonder? Some of it is that others are uncomfortable being around depression. Again, why? Are they so unstable in their façade of happiness that being around a depressed person will somehow set them off, tip the balance in their fragile construction of so-called happiness?   If one is truly centered, it does not matter if another is depressed or angry. It is simply weather and you wear a raincoat or go inside.   Is the uncomfortableness because one feels compelled to “help” and then feels angry or helpless around a depressed (or even sad) person because they don’t know how to help (meaning get rid of the depression—because part of real help is simple acceptance)?   Why are depressed people often considered a “downer”?   There are many things for you to personally consider here. Social and environmental factors can affect mood, even cause depression. For example, if you ar