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Showing posts from August, 2018

Using labels to avoid your work

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Using labels to avoid your work “I’m an introvert.” “I’m being dysfunctional.” “I am an empath.” It is good to know about yourself. However a retreat into generalized labels will be an obstacle to further work. Generalizations are just that, generalizations.   Generalizations are good for a quick conversation, but not for depth.   Now that you have learned something about yourself (a label) you have some vocabulary to do more research on tools for healing. Now that you know your fallback position (“I run away.” “I don’t use boundaries.” etc.) you can start to learn about other tools, other choices. In order to apply new choices, in order to catch your dysfunctional patterns you will need to be Mindful.   Mindfulness entails being specific, very specific regarding each incident, each choice. Just like taking a daily inventory. Specificity and detail are needed to observe your current choices, to learn what Spirit is trying to Teach you and also for you to be able to note and cel

Not a victim, not a survivor. Awakened Learner

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Not a victim, not a survivor. Awakened Learner In the legal system you must present as a victim in order to win your case, or to sue. Your counsel will prep you to testify as a victim in order to affect the system, the judge, the jury.   Then you are encouraged to become a “survivor” and tell your brave story to inspire others and to help in your own recovery. There is nothing wrong with these choices, as strategies especially if you are involved with the legal system and all the recovery therapies that go with it. What if there is another path?   One where you own the hurt, the pain, the loss and then also begin to see the lesson and growth that is occurring almost if not exactly simultaneously.   While you may have been victimized you are not “a   victim”.   You were acted against in a way that caused you pain, loss, a wound or more. And you have choices to make regarding how to defend yourself, how to react. You might need to walk away, fight, compromise, change yoursel